Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"Bring what hurts, bring your scars, bring the load that you carry; I will give you rest"

We had a wonderful time with Henry, Dana, and Lia this past weekend. They arrived late Thursday evening…after a not so fun trip over here…and left Sunday morning. Henry went in with Ben to work while Dana, Lia, Charlotte and I got to hang out all day Friday. It was so much fun. We even found some great buys at Unclaimed Baggage. Friday night we grilled out and all got stuffed on the world’s largest sweet potatoes…I think each one of them weighed about a pound! Saturday morning we were all a bit groggy from staying up way too late talking, laughing, and reminiscing about how much life had changed in the last few years, but after several cups of coffee and a few cookie dough truffles (a dessert I made that is WAY too addictive and the reason I have put on 5lb in the last few days) we were all ready to face the day. The four of us decided a trip to Earth Fare was in order, and we prayed the girls would handle the car trip well. We loaded up the Flex and headed out. The girls did amazingly well the entire trip with no major meltdowns. We ate lunch at Earth Fare, bought some delicious items for dinner, then headed to Interior Market Place. I could have bought half of the store. Dana and I were in love with adorable children’s clothing, but we both wished they had more sales items. After much drooling over smocked dresses and baby bathing suits, we headed back to the Boro. We decided to do a Tapas style meal of delectable’s we found at Earth Fare. I think everyone’s favorites were a yummy cold sausage, dates, and brie with fig and orange preserves smeared on top. Sunday morning came all too quickly, and I hated to see them go but will be headed to Covington soon for Lia’s Baptism.

My parents are coming up this weekend so our house will once again be full. I love it, always having someone to talk to and sit quietly with while I drink a morning cup of coffee. People might think I’m nuts, but I really could live in a compound with all my family and be perfectly happy. They never seem to get on my nerves, though I’m sure I drive them all nuts. This week has seemed so quiet without everyone here and I have been having an extremely hard time getting anything done. I think chronic fatigue is wearing on me. Sunday night Charlotte only woke once and slept till 7am (yippee). Then we had another night when we were up 3 times, and all rest regained was lost. I keep telling myself I’ll look back, and it will seem like this was just a short phase. Yet, in the middle of it, this season of sleeplessness feels endless.

Emotional trials have me fatigued as well. I keep reminding myself the Lord will not give me more than I can bear, nor will He give my spouse more than he can bear. I, in weakness, can place all importance on temporal things without thinking of a future eternity. It is especially hard to view family in an eternal light; to view life as temporal. I place so much importance on my relationships. They are important, but they are still earthly which means these relationships will come to an end. It’s extremely hard to grasp that the end of our earthly relationship is the beginning of a perfect one in Heaven. I also know that our trials are to shape us and to refine us into something worthy of eternity with the Savior. They chip away at us until we more resemble Christ. Each chisel of the Creator breaks us more of self. He chips away at the tight grasp we hold until we are free to hold only to Him. Oh, but it is a painful process. I want to be able to say “to live is Christ, to die is gain”, but often times I am a coward about the process. I get angry at God when He starts to mold me. In doing so I reject the cross; when as a Christian, I must learn to submit to it. Because in the cross there is perfect justice: a death for the sins of man, and there is perfect mercy: a gift of His own son. Each trial in my own life brings me closer to the harmony of the cross. I am praying the Lord teach me not to run away in fear and anger but to run to Him in submission. “If you knew what God knows about death you would clap your listless hands.” –George MacDonald

Lord I am weary and heavy laden, please give me rest.


Dana said...

We had a blast this past weekend, too, and were sad to have to leave. Especially with that house for sale on your street. :) Y'all were way too hospitable to let us stay so long. It was nice to sit and drink coffee and chat for an hour or two. Don't feel bad about the weight gain... I promise you're not the only one! I loved the quote at the end of your post. We are praying for peace, joy and time. Also, I think this was one of the most mature Christian paragraphs that I have ever read. You could give EE a run for her money, though I hope we never experience her trials. Love you guys!

Henry said...

"but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
~Isaiah 40:31~

This is my prayer for you and Ben as God takes you through these various trials. Depend on Him for your strength, as I know you do.

We had a wonderful time with you and Ben and Charlotte, and hopefully we might have provided some distraction for other, not so pleasant situations. Our meal Saturday night was one of the best I've had in a long time; and I'm convinced you secretly spiked your truffles with crack!

Can't wait to see you guys again soon!

LB said...

My heart is heavy for all of you! Praying!

Susan B. said...

Hey Sweethearts! It's good to hear from you again. Thanks for sharing with us. We love you very much!

I like to see Charlotte's cute little vids. She's soooo sweet!

Have a blessed day!

Aunt Choo Choo

Athalia Critcher said...

Oh my. Sleeplessness. For a fact, everything is hard-er without sleep. I hope you have at least one night a week with solid sleep from here on out.

BB said...

Thanks Esther for taking time in your very busy day to write blogs. I for one am blessed by each one, but this one especially touched my heart. You are so right, yes we do live in a real world where bad things happen, but God is still in control. Give Ben and Charlotte a big big hug for Mimi and Dada. Love Ya