Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"Bring what hurts, bring your scars, bring the load that you carry; I will give you rest"

We had a wonderful time with Henry, Dana, and Lia this past weekend. They arrived late Thursday evening…after a not so fun trip over here…and left Sunday morning. Henry went in with Ben to work while Dana, Lia, Charlotte and I got to hang out all day Friday. It was so much fun. We even found some great buys at Unclaimed Baggage. Friday night we grilled out and all got stuffed on the world’s largest sweet potatoes…I think each one of them weighed about a pound! Saturday morning we were all a bit groggy from staying up way too late talking, laughing, and reminiscing about how much life had changed in the last few years, but after several cups of coffee and a few cookie dough truffles (a dessert I made that is WAY too addictive and the reason I have put on 5lb in the last few days) we were all ready to face the day. The four of us decided a trip to Earth Fare was in order, and we prayed the girls would handle the car trip well. We loaded up the Flex and headed out. The girls did amazingly well the entire trip with no major meltdowns. We ate lunch at Earth Fare, bought some delicious items for dinner, then headed to Interior Market Place. I could have bought half of the store. Dana and I were in love with adorable children’s clothing, but we both wished they had more sales items. After much drooling over smocked dresses and baby bathing suits, we headed back to the Boro. We decided to do a Tapas style meal of delectable’s we found at Earth Fare. I think everyone’s favorites were a yummy cold sausage, dates, and brie with fig and orange preserves smeared on top. Sunday morning came all too quickly, and I hated to see them go but will be headed to Covington soon for Lia’s Baptism.

My parents are coming up this weekend so our house will once again be full. I love it, always having someone to talk to and sit quietly with while I drink a morning cup of coffee. People might think I’m nuts, but I really could live in a compound with all my family and be perfectly happy. They never seem to get on my nerves, though I’m sure I drive them all nuts. This week has seemed so quiet without everyone here and I have been having an extremely hard time getting anything done. I think chronic fatigue is wearing on me. Sunday night Charlotte only woke once and slept till 7am (yippee). Then we had another night when we were up 3 times, and all rest regained was lost. I keep telling myself I’ll look back, and it will seem like this was just a short phase. Yet, in the middle of it, this season of sleeplessness feels endless.

Emotional trials have me fatigued as well. I keep reminding myself the Lord will not give me more than I can bear, nor will He give my spouse more than he can bear. I, in weakness, can place all importance on temporal things without thinking of a future eternity. It is especially hard to view family in an eternal light; to view life as temporal. I place so much importance on my relationships. They are important, but they are still earthly which means these relationships will come to an end. It’s extremely hard to grasp that the end of our earthly relationship is the beginning of a perfect one in Heaven. I also know that our trials are to shape us and to refine us into something worthy of eternity with the Savior. They chip away at us until we more resemble Christ. Each chisel of the Creator breaks us more of self. He chips away at the tight grasp we hold until we are free to hold only to Him. Oh, but it is a painful process. I want to be able to say “to live is Christ, to die is gain”, but often times I am a coward about the process. I get angry at God when He starts to mold me. In doing so I reject the cross; when as a Christian, I must learn to submit to it. Because in the cross there is perfect justice: a death for the sins of man, and there is perfect mercy: a gift of His own son. Each trial in my own life brings me closer to the harmony of the cross. I am praying the Lord teach me not to run away in fear and anger but to run to Him in submission. “If you knew what God knows about death you would clap your listless hands.” –George MacDonald

Lord I am weary and heavy laden, please give me rest.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Catching Up

I’m going to start off by saying this blog might make absolutely no sense. I’m running off fumes. Someone who is perfectly capable of sleeping through the night woke me up MANY times. However, I’m going to forgive her, because she did allow me to get a ton done yesterday…guess cleaning the house cost one night’s sleep…might not clean the house again anytime soon J

I know it’s been quite awhile since I’ve blogged. Every time I’ve sat down at the computer I’ve either been too tired or felt like I’ve had nothing to say. But now that we are nearing the two week mark, I felt I must catch friends and family up. We’ve had an enjoyable past couple of weeks: girl’s weekend in Covington (grand except for the most miserable car ride I’ve ever experienced, which consisted of 4 straight hours of crying), cooking new dishes including scrumptious Coq Au Vin, many fun birthday parties (Lottie and Andrew), and a few sunny days.

Charlotte is 5 going on 6 months, and she, for the most part, is a blast! I feel like 4 going on 5 months was a bit tough. She was super clingy, fussy if not held, woke up often during the night, and refused to nap. She still wakes up a good bit during the night and only takes cat naps, but she is more amiable and is starting to really enjoy playing with her toys. And the laughter makes my heart skip a bit. The other night I was tossing cheese at Lilly and Charlotte started cracking up. It was great! I love to make her laugh, but it is so much fun to see her laugh at something on her own. Charlotte is really starting to notice the world around her, and it’s a joy to watch. Watching your own child discover the world reminds you of how creative our God truly is. I thank Ben often for letting me stay at home, because I would not want to miss a minute of this.

Charlotte also enjoys reading time. I think she really just likes to watch the pages turn and see the pictures, but I read to her as long as she will let me. I want her to be a reader…as opposed to a watcher of TV. I do way too much watching at night and know that’s going to have to change when she starts to notice the TV. She has looked at it a few seconds, but still has no real interest in it, which I am extremely happy about. Normally at night I let her fall asleep in my arms while Ben and I watch a show (many times “The Office”). I know it sounds crazy, but she seems to like falling asleep to background noise. I know it’s a bad habit, but it makes for a very nice end to an often long day. I’m praying she won’t notice the TV for another 2 years. I doubt that will happen, so I’m sure our night time routine will be changing soon.

Now the cell phone is a completely different story! She is mesmerized by it…which tells you I am on it WAY too often J I typically do not buy her toys because it doesn’t take but one to entertain her; yet I did break down and buy Charlotte a toy phone the other day. I was honestly hoping it would help with car trips. Charlotte enjoys it, but I don’t think it holds a candle to my phone. Plus she is such an observer, she would almost rather watch me play with her toys than play with them herself. In fact, as we speak Charlotte is on my lap happy as a clam watching my fingers move all over the keyboard!

We get a huge treat today. My mom (ChiCha) is coming for an overnight visit. Both of us are excited and even baked cookies in honor of her coming. I just wish the visit was longer and that my dad was coming as well. However, they are both coming for a weekend at the end of February. And in two weekends Henry, Dana, and Lia are coming for a visit!!!! I’m thrilled because I thought I wouldn’t see them till March and hated to think how grown up Lia would be by then. These two girls are changing at rapid speeds, and sometimes I just want to push the pause button. I can’t do that, so I’m trying to treasure each moment!

I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon. I’m hoping I can get a little more work done on my house and I’m praying that God will use my time whether is be cleaning or nursing to glorify Him. I’m praying that He give me a patient spirit in the midst of fatigue and that He help me to seek Him in the quiet moments of the day.