"Well you send my life a whirling/ Darling when your twirling/ On the floor"

Life really hasn’t slowed down and I don’t know that it ever will. These last few weeks have drained me quite a bit with all the travel. Yet, we have had some wonderful moments.

We were able to visit with KayKay and Bob, Ben’s grandparents. It was wonderful to spend time with them.

 

Charlotte took to KayKay right away.

We attended SB clinic May 9. I was trying not to be anxious but at our last visit we received the shocking news that Charlotte’s shunt was malfunctioning. She seemed to be doing so well but I worried any way. God is so good. In fact, we received great reports at Clinic. The best news was from her Ortho doctor, Dr. Khoury. As you may remember, Charlotte has had issues with her right hip (the ball and socket weren’t well formed). He warned us of the possibility of surgery. At the last visit her hip had improved enough that surgery did not seem necessary. At this visit, Dr. Khoury told us her hip x-ray was normal and that this does not typical happen. Thank you so much for your prayers. God hears them all and this time He saw fit to restore Charlotte’s hip!!!

 The following week we had good reports from Urology as well. Charlotte’s kidneys are continuing to grow and we do not need in and out catheterization at this time. I know that in and out cath’s will most likely be in our future but I was so grateful to hear we are good with diapers since I will have two in diapers very soon.

We did have a bit of a scare last week. Margaret decided to be still all day Monday and worked me into a nervous panic. I ended up heading to the hospital for monitoring. Of course, once we decided to sign in she started to kick up a storm. I think she thought “well my sister has all these special doctor visits, I need one too.” Monitoring showed she was fine and my visit to the OB informed us that she is head down and dropped. This was encouraging to me because I am trying to avoid another C-section. In fact, I’m going to try to avoid drugs all together.

A drug free birth is not exactly common these days; especially in a state where home birth is actually illegal. I am choosing this rout not because I’m tough (honestly, I’m a wimp) but after much research, prayer, and consideration I feel it is my best option. Of course, if complications arise and I have to have another c-section, I will try to accept it joyfully. My end goal is a healthy little girl!

Newest pic:

I’m 38 weeks pregnant and about to bust.

Like most women at this point I am ready to deliver. NO, I have NO CLUE how to raise two kids but I’m ready for the next challenge. I know that you don’t get sleep with a newborn and that they require mountains of work. Those first few weeks with Charlotte were very tough. Still, I am not a fan of being pregnant, but I’m a huge fan of swaddling, nursing, kissing, rocking, and loving on a newborn. Yes, it is tough but there is the joy of holding your child in your arms. There is the immense pleasure of seeing their sweet little face for the first time. There is the heart stopping love you experience as they wrap tiny fingers around your finger. I am in love with Mary Margaret but I know how it abounds ten fold when they finally arrive. I am ready and excited to meet this child who will carry another piece of my heart. 

"God is so good, He's so good to me"

Well this post has not gone as planned!!! I wanted to quickly jot down a few words and post some fun pictures while Charlotte naps. Key word: QUICKLY. Problems started when I logged onto photobucket and discovered they have changed there editing system so I can no longer quickly create collages. I do not want nor have the time to spend hours creating custom photo collages; hence, this post will be old school and merely place one picture after the next. Next problem, Google chrome. It seems I had to upgrade in order for my blog to work and I don’t like it. I am not computer savvy and am not a fan of change. Anywho, all that is to say this will not be a great blog post 

 Yet on a happier note, Charlotte was once again an amazing sport with her latest surgery. I had been extremely worried about not being able to feed her but she did phenomenal. The night before surgery Charlotte ate everything in sight. I attribute her binge eating to God’s all surpassing grace. The hardest part was once again, handing her over to a nurse and having to watch her leave. She was very distraught and I lost it as soon as she was out of my sight. Honestly, just the memory of it makes me cry. I lost it again when they took me to see her after surgery. I cried mostly from relief and a little from heart ache. It is painful to see your child so vulnerable and small. Charlotte was still groggy from being put under and her bloody eyes broke my heart. Soon after they lead us back we were sent on our way. It was a long and emotional day but it went extremely well. Charlotte recovered quickly from the eye surgery. Intubation made her breathing horrendous for a few days but she finally recovered from that as well. We went back to Birmingham yesterday and were given the great news that her eyes seem to be recovering well. We will go back in three months for a check up.

 

me going wild with editing :)

 

I am thrilled with a good report yet worn flat out. I had forgotten that the end of pregnancy is much like the beginning: completely draining. Charlotte has been very good yet the day to day rigors leave me exhausted. Yesterday, I thought therapy time would literally break my back. I often get frustrated but know that it will be worth the effort. I’ve said to my mom many times that one of the hard and great things about being a mom is the fact that you must give up all vices. It starts when you are pregnant. You can’t drink, smoke, or even have Advil. (I really miss Advil). And it continues on, especially if you are nursing. You can’t call in sick, you can’t decide to sit on the couch and watch movies for hours, and you can’t lay in bed all day in self pity. Maybe you can do some of those things a little, but you have to get up and feed your child breakfast. You have to change their diapers and if need be, do therapy time. You can’t cave to your self nearly as much because you must ALWAYS be a mother.

 

There are definitely moments where I think it would be wonderful to lay in bed all day’ Yet, Charlotte will inevitably give me a hug or babble something funny, and I realize that giving up my selfish desires is much more rewarding. If only I could grasp that concept all the time. I know with the arrival of a second child I will have to be less selfish. It scares me, thinking about what I might have to give up. But I know that God calls us to a life of service and it is in service to God and to others that we find joy. I forget all too often and think doing my own thing will make me happy. I am praying that with Margaret’s arrival and the extra work it will require, God will equip me and remind me of the joy that is found outside of my self.

 Charlotte and Lilly:

 

 I won’t lie; I want to pout when I think of the next two weeks. I have to go to the OB every week from here on out, and her office is about 1hr from my house. Along with those visit we have Charlotte’s SB clinic (2 days in B’ham) and the following week Urology (also 2 days in B’ham). Then I will only have two weeks before my due date. And like most expectant mothers I still have a list a mile long I need to accomplish before Margaret arrives. And what if she arrives early?!! I am trying to remember those wise words by Elizabeth Elliot: “God does not grant us grace for our imaginations. It is ‘this day our daily bread.’”

 Yes, I am only 4.5 weeks from d-day and there is much to do. But on the much much brighter side: I won’t have to be pregnant any more!! And even more wonderful, I will get to meet this tiny being who kicks and squirms in my belly. This child who God knew before I even had an idea of her. This little girl who I know will add so much joy to our family. I can’t wait to meet you Margaret and my heart sings when I think of your sister meeting you for the first time.

 

She can be so serious but when she smiles it rocks my world!

 

SO very thrilled she gets to be a big sister.