Thursday, January 26, 2012

"There's only grace, There's only love, There's only mercy and believe it's enough"

Thanks to all of you who prayed and encouraged me before my UAB ultrasound. It is always wonderful to feel the love and support of the Body of Christ.

We headed for a 20 week diagnostic ultrasound at UAB to specifically check on this new little girl and see if there were any signs of SB. Oh, and I made Ben take a 20 week picture:

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I wish I’d made him take one last night because even though I am only 2 weeks further along my belly has definitely popped out. I’m hoping it’s from the growth of our sweet girl and not just all the ice cream I’ve been eating lately 

We headed to the doctor last Thursday. Ben, my mom, and Charlotte were all there with me. I was pretty worn from anxiety and having gotten very little sleep the night before. I had been encouraged by how much kicking I had been feeling early on; but worries still plagued me. First, they had us watch a video on diagnostic testing and amniocenteses. There was another girl in the room with us who had had abnormal blood work. It was thinking about her situation that began to calm my nerves.

I don’t know her situation except that she had a 7 year old daughter and she seemed very young. I began to think about how hard it must be for her, how scary. I remembered my own fear coming in for testing with Charlotte. I was worried this time but it was different because I had survived it. God had proven trust worthy during some of the hardest times of my life. He had not given me more than I could bear. There was so much comfort in those thoughts; that even if this child had issues I knew that the Great Physician would provide in my hour of need.

I wondered about the girl and her situation; if she had a supportive husband and family. I began to get a small glimmer into the grace that God has had in my life since Charlotte’s diagnosis. Sometimes I think all we get is a glimmer into His grace, because it is so boundless and unfathomable. He placed me with a spouse who loves and encourages me. I have a father who keeps up with new findings in Spina Bifida and has always been the one I call for questions. I have a mother who comes to every doctor’s visit and makes sure she knows the proper ways to care for Charlotte. I have siblings who have prayed for my daughter and loved her like she was their own. I have in-laws who lavished Charlotte with love and always looked at her like she is perfect (which she is, in our eyes). I have a church both here and where I grew up that have been prayer warriors on behalf of my daughter. I have friends who have cried with me and rejoiced with me. And Charlotte has done exceedingly well. God has bestowed BOUNDLESS grace in my life.

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I sat in the doctor’s office as the Ultra sound tech took pictures, and though my heart fluttered with nerves I thought of all this grace. It has been grace given to the least deserving. My mind went to the girl, hoping she would have a good report and if not, that she too would look back and see God’s grace. This little babe would be well taken care of not matter the outcome. God’s sovereignty and goodness has been at work even in my womb.

The Tech informed us that we were having another GIRL: YAY! And the doctor informed us that everything looked great. They can never tell you for sure you are having a healthy child but from the ultrasound all was going well. More and more grace. I will never deserve it nor be able to repay it.

I am thrilled to be having another little girl. We have decided to name her: Mary Margret Bratton and call her Margret. It is a named derived from family we love dearly. I never had a sister and though I can’t imagine life without my brothers I am elated for Charlotte to experience it.

I pray that they will be close. I know that they will fight, because that is what siblings do. Yet, I hope that Margret will bring lightheartedness into Charlotte’s life, and that Charlotte’s sweet nature would be a balm to Margret. I can’t wait to see what she is like. It’s strange to think that this little girl could and will probably be completely different from the one I know. But I love her already and I know that my God does too.

Charlotte and the move are keeping me fairly busy but I will try to keep everyone posted on how this pregnancy is progressing. And a few more pictures before I go:
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10 comments:

LB said...

I am so excited for ya'll!!! And I love the name. Charlotte looks so grown up in those last pictures--she is so beautiful. I am dying to know which house ya'll are moving to. I need to ask Ann. Again, so glad for a healthy baby girl!!

Kristen said...

Praise the Lord for a good report!!!

Christina May Andrews said...

That is wonderful Esther and A VERY Beautiful name!

Timsha Coleman said...

So happy for the good report, and I love the name!

Meghan said...

So glad that it all went well! I love the name; I was telling Tom that it just suits you and Ben and y'all's family. Can't wait to meet little MM. =) She will be such a happy addition to all of our lives! YAY!

amy said...

Esther! I am so impressed with you. Thanks for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers. You look gorgeous and Charlotte couldn't be cuter! So exciting you get another girl. What a blessing!

Dana said...

Your 20 week picture looks more like 12! You look awesome! LOVE the name that you chose! The perfect name for #10!! The pictures of Charlotte are adorable, and I agree with LB - She looks so grown up!!! I still can't believe that she will soon be 18 months! Love y'all!

Vicky said...

Can't think of a more perfect name--it just suits you and Ben! Can't wait to meet and welcome little Margret!

Susan B. said...

Ess! It's good to hear about all that God has blessed you with! It's clear His favor is on you! Praise the LORD for such a sweet family. I'm excited for Margret and glad she's a lil sis. She and Charlotte will be best friends and a real blessing to each other. Sweet, sweet, sweet!

Mimi and Dada said...

Ben, Esther, Charlotte and now Mary Margret, what a wonderful little growing family. Now in my prayers I have a name rather than "it" and of course I love the name. Charlotte is growing so fast. She is an absolute "doll" and looks so content. Love to you all.