Wednesday, December 14, 2011

"I have traveled many moonless nights. Cold and weary with a babe inside. And I wonder what I've done."

"Holy Father, You have come.
And chosen me now to carry Your son."

It’s been so long I’m not even sure where to begin! I’m impressed with all of you who spit out blogs like it is nothing, even during the holiday season. Holiday blogginitis: the inability to put one’s life into words during the holiday, and/or the lack of energy to write. Yep, that’s me…not to mention the nausea that continues to have me running for the kitchen sink and turning my nose at foods I used to love (chocolate).

However, Charlotte is in bed, thoroughly exhausted, because Lilly woke her from her nap THREE times; and Ben has brought work home with him tonight. I’m out of excuses, so I guess I need to write.


I believe I left off writing before Thanksgiving. I hope everyone had a wonderful time. We certainly did. We celebrated with family and had the wonderful treat of a visit with my dad for a few days. He is an amazing father but also one of my best friends, and I am always glad to have him near.


As is Charlotte.


From birth, our little girl has had a special affection for her Papa.


I think she has excellent taste :)


We were looking forward to a quieter end to November, but it seemed to disappear in a matter of moments. December has been, well, busy. There are all the typical holiday gatherings, plus doctors visits for Charlotte and for myself. Her last visit to Children’s to see Urology brought wonderful news: great looking kidneys and no in/out caths. Out urologist informed us that they do not consider Charlotte’s past UTIs as true infections. He let us know that because of her conditions she would always test positive for bacteria, but unless she has a fever don’t worry. YEAH!!! This meant that I did not allow my baby to go around with an infection. Lots of guilt was lifted off my shoulders at that visit.

Next, Charlotte had a 15month check up. All went well, though my pediatrician was surprised by her weight (18lb), saying she looked at least 20lb. Gotta love those chipmunk cheeks!!! I also had a doctor’s appointment to check on Peanut. I was able to hear the heart beat which I love, and my doctor let me know they would schedule me for a diagnostic ultrasound at UAB. This is due to the fact that I am at a higher risk to have a child with SB, although the odds are still relatively low. I won’t lie; as Christmas nears, my anxiety level about this ultrasound increases. I would take a thousand Charlottes. She is more than I could ever want or deserve. However, I still want a healthy baby, because it is so hard to watch a child suffer. I know that God is in control of this situation and there is nothing more I can do, but worry still creeps into my heart. I am praying for peace in any and all circumstances and the strength to reign in my thoughts.

Charlotte also has an appointment with her Ophthalmologist in a few weeks to see about eye surgery. I am praying for strength through this trial as well. But on a brighter note: Charlotte now has her braces! We are practicing standing everyday for at least an hour. Wow, it wears us both out. I now know that physical therapists have to be in good shape. I’m having a hard time, and my girl is tiny. It will probably still be awhile before she walks, but starting the steps towards it is quite exciting.

And for even MORE exciting news…

We headed down to Auburn this past weekend to celebrate Nadia’s, my brother's girlfriend, graduation. It was a ton of fun hanging out and gathering for the fun occasion. Sunday, after a delicious meal filled with family and friends we went outside to take pictures. I was trying to keep bundled up, when all of the sudden Will was down on one knee. Nadia, with tears in her eyes, replied with a resounding YES. She seems like family already, but we are all thrilled to see them take this wonderful step. In a way it’s hard to believe that my big brother, ever the bachelor, is tying the knot. But I’m thrilled. Marriage is so much better than dating. You get to live and travel life with your best friend. Will is not only hilarious and smart but one of the most thoughtful people I know, and I think those qualities will be cherished by Nadia in their marriage. Nadia is also smart (I’m the one in the family lacking brains) funny, genuine, so helpful, and best of all she likes my brother. I can’t wait for the big day. I’m just hoping that it is more than a day or two after June 3 :)

I hope you all are enjoying the season with friends and family. This Christmas I am often thinking of Mary and her journey. I carry my own babe and the love I have for this child is beyond words. What a wonder it must have been for her to know that in her womb was the Savior; that the babe she would nurse would change the world. And how hard it must have been to hear the words of those who did not believe her situation. How hard it must have been to travel and give birth in a strange place without the comfort of a mother or aunt to help her. Yet, she quietly and humbly obeyed. I continue to pray for Mary’s quiet heart when my mind rattles with all that surrounds me and my spirit grows weary.





Kristen said...

Sweet little Charlotte - she looks so beautiful in her Christmas dress! And congratulations to the Little clan on the upcoming marriage!

Meghan said...

You do not lack brains! Whatever. lol

I am so excited for Will! And I'm glad that you were able to hear Peanut's heartbeat. It's my favorite sound in the world to hear Josey's...until she's born. =)

Glad Charlotte got so many good reports and her braces. Hopefully it will quickly help her body learn what it needs to do to stand. That's exciting!


Susan B. said...

Ess! Always good to hear from you and all that God has blessed you with. Charlotte is growing up so fast. She'll be walking before you know it! She's beautiful and smart too! I'm glad to hear her kidneys are healthy! Praise the LORD for all His blessings! Love to all of you!

Dana said...

Yippee for another post! Way to go! :) And double yippee for so many good tidings to share! I love Charlotte's dress, and the tree looks beautiful from that small visible corner. Love y'all FOUR!

NatalieWhitworth: unofficial Long House member said...

So lovely, thanks for sharing. And I love your reflections on Mary and carrying fetus Jesus. I think about her a lot... her amazing humility, surrender and trust she had in God.

Mandy Jessen said...

Working with children like Charlotte make my day so bright! I can already tell she has the spirit to conquer all her upcoming goals. Good luck to you both! xo

Mimi and Dada said...

Esther, I would like to ditto Danas' response. "Yippee another blog". I'm sure we all look for one every day but know that would be impossible. Char Char is growing up so fast and ever so beautiful. For one, I'am dieing to know the gender of "little peanut". MERRY CHRISTMAS to your precious little family.