Tuesday, July 1, 2008

"She wears silk underwear"

“She wears silk underwear while I wear last year’s pair. That’s where my money goes, to buy my baby clothes and keep her in style.”

I meant to write on Monday but somehow it slipped into Tuesday and Tuesday melded its way into today. So, Wednesday will have to do. All the sermons Steve preaches are powerful and make me reflect on my position in Christ. They speak of sin but a grace which shall cover my deepest betrayals towards God. Yet, this Sunday I was struck, struck by a burden that has been hiding in the back on my heart, not wanting to surface.

Steve spoke a little on submission, which can be a touchy subject in an age where women have pushed the feminist movement, minorities speak constantly about equal rights, children demand their own life from their parents and our greatest pursuit is our own happiness. However, as a Christian we hear the word often referring to our submission to Christ, the church body’s submission to its leaders, and a wife’s submission to her husband. In my mind I thought submitting to Ben would be easy. That I could live by the verse:
“22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”(Ephesians 5)
My idea of submission was staying home, raising kids, cooking meals, and keeping up the house. Though I know it’s not a glamorous job, it is what my heart desires.

But Steve’s submission was something more, a deeper calling. He talked of the authority that God has established. His law is one of grace. Steve talked of submission to others being about obedience and love for God. I do not merely submit to Ben out of love for him but out of my love for God. It made me realize that so often I only submit to Ben when it is pleasant. It’s funny because I was so proud of my desire to be a house wife. The sermon gave me the realization that my pride was misplaced, as pride always is. In and of myself I am a constantly failing wife whose motives are always wrong.

I can cook the must decadent meals, clean till the house glistens, have 12 children, but duties are meaningless if my heart is not in the right place. To thrive as a wife my “chief purpose must be to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. He can place my heart and motives where they need to be. That means submitting to Ben in the easy things like attending Church and the not so easy things like the budget.

I quoted the song in the beginning as a way to say that Ben is a wonderful provider and gives me above and beyond my needs. He is a great husband because he is trying to live for God. I must do the same. I must submit to the God who gives abundantly and accept what my husband says. This is the man who God has placed in authority over me. And He did so in grace, knowing that I would need Ben, WHICH I DO, TONS!!!


ann said...

I laughed because you mentioned it being Wed. and it is actually Tues. I have felt all week that it was later in the week than it really was. Is it because of the
4th, I don't know... Anyway, thanks for your sweet comments and thanks for your very honest post! I am right there with you. I used to think it was so romantic and it would be no problem to submit and then after being married awhile, you realize, okay maybe this isn't always so easy. Sadly I'll even admit that I've thrown a few "tantrums" over some things in the past. Thankfully, Steven is patient with me and I pray over time God will teach me more about submission. See you tonight.

LB said...

Amen to all that you said!! Especially being hard to submit to the husband about the budget--ha, ha. I am right there with you. It is not an easy thing. Thank God for his grace!!