"There's only grace, There's only love, There's only mercy and believe it's enough"

Thanks to all of you who prayed and encouraged me before my UAB ultrasound. It is always wonderful to feel the love and support of the Body of Christ.

We headed for a 20 week diagnostic ultrasound at UAB to specifically check on this new little girl and see if there were any signs of SB. Oh, and I made Ben take a 20 week picture:



I wish I’d made him take one last night because even though I am only 2 weeks further along my belly has definitely popped out. I’m hoping it’s from the growth of our sweet girl and not just all the ice cream I’ve been eating lately 

We headed to the doctor last Thursday. Ben, my mom, and Charlotte were all there with me. I was pretty worn from anxiety and having gotten very little sleep the night before. I had been encouraged by how much kicking I had been feeling early on; but worries still plagued me. First, they had us watch a video on diagnostic testing and amniocenteses. There was another girl in the room with us who had had abnormal blood work. It was thinking about her situation that began to calm my nerves.

I don’t know her situation except that she had a 7 year old daughter and she seemed very young. I began to think about how hard it must be for her, how scary. I remembered my own fear coming in for testing with Charlotte. I was worried this time but it was different because I had survived it. God had proven trust worthy during some of the hardest times of my life. He had not given me more than I could bear. There was so much comfort in those thoughts; that even if this child had issues I knew that the Great Physician would provide in my hour of need.

I wondered about the girl and her situation; if she had a supportive husband and family. I began to get a small glimmer into the grace that God has had in my life since Charlotte’s diagnosis. Sometimes I think all we get is a glimmer into His grace, because it is so boundless and unfathomable. He placed me with a spouse who loves and encourages me. I have a father who keeps up with new findings in Spina Bifida and has always been the one I call for questions. I have a mother who comes to every doctor’s visit and makes sure she knows the proper ways to care for Charlotte. I have siblings who have prayed for my daughter and loved her like she was their own. I have in-laws who lavished Charlotte with love and always looked at her like she is perfect (which she is, in our eyes). I have a church both here and where I grew up that have been prayer warriors on behalf of my daughter. I have friends who have cried with me and rejoiced with me. And Charlotte has done exceedingly well. God has bestowed BOUNDLESS grace in my life.



I sat in the doctor’s office as the Ultra sound tech took pictures, and though my heart fluttered with nerves I thought of all this grace. It has been grace given to the least deserving. My mind went to the girl, hoping she would have a good report and if not, that she too would look back and see God’s grace. This little babe would be well taken care of not matter the outcome. God’s sovereignty and goodness has been at work even in my womb.

The Tech informed us that we were having another GIRL: YAY! And the doctor informed us that everything looked great. They can never tell you for sure you are having a healthy child but from the ultrasound all was going well. More and more grace. I will never deserve it nor be able to repay it.

I am thrilled to be having another little girl. We have decided to name her: Mary Margret Bratton and call her Margret. It is a named derived from family we love dearly. I never had a sister and though I can’t imagine life without my brothers I am elated for Charlotte to experience it.

I pray that they will be close. I know that they will fight, because that is what siblings do. Yet, I hope that Margret will bring lightheartedness into Charlotte’s life, and that Charlotte’s sweet nature would be a balm to Margret. I can’t wait to see what she is like. It’s strange to think that this little girl could and will probably be completely different from the one I know. But I love her already and I know that my God does too.

Charlotte and the move are keeping me fairly busy but I will try to keep everyone posted on how this pregnancy is progressing. And a few more pictures before I go:

"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the Future"

Ok, so I’m racking my brain trying to remember everything that has passed since my last post…a lot. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We certainly did. We spent this year is Scottsboro and hosted Ben’s family. I have a new appreciation for the many years my mom has slaved away to give us a special Christmas dinner. We decided to do a Christmas lunch so I cooked as much as possible before hand. I could not have accomplished the monumental task without Ben taking over turkey cooking and the numerous calls to my mother as I tried to get the dressing just right!





Christmas morning everyone came over and watched as Charlotte was dazzled by an array of gifts. She is still too young to really get into toys and she came down with a cold that morning; yet, Charlotte seemed to have a good time eyeing all her loot.




The car was a fabulous gift from her Aunt Beth and Uncle Graham. She loves me pushing her around. I was doing laundry the other day and we “picked up” the sheets in her car and then drove them over to the bedroom. My back is still recovering!



Charlotte has been more and more enamored with stuffed animals so I decided it was time for a doll as did her grandparents. Now she has two babies that she loves to hug. I think she is going to be a wonderful big sister.



Our biggest Christmas surprise came in the form of getting a new home!! That’s right, we are moving. I am sad to leave all the memories we have made in this home and all the work I have put into this yard. However, I couldn’t be more thrilled to familiarize myself with a new kitchen and make even more wonderful memories. The other plus is this new house is less than a mile away from our current location; hopefully, making moving a little less burdensome. I do get a bit overwhelmed thinking about packing everything with a little girl who demands my full attention and a belly that is getting more swollen by the minute! Ben and I hope that this will be our last move 

The week after Christmas went by rather slowly as Charlotte’s cold made her more and more fussy. It was her first time having a cold (huge blessing) and it made me realize what work it is to care for a sick child.

We went to my family for a long New Year’s weekend which was a welcome break. While in Covington, Ben and I attend a concert in Atlanta for a band we greatly enjoy, Futurebirds. It was a late night for this pregnant woman (1am-ish) but definitely worth it. Sunday, Ben headed back to Scottsboro while I stayed on with my parents. Charlotte was acting very sick and started to get a low grade fever. We were all worried about the possibility of a UTI but knew it could also be from a virus. We decided to wait it out. Monday, Charlotte’s temperature was hardly elevated but by the evening it was running very high. We ended up taking her to the ER were she was diagnosed with a UTI. I am happy to report that she has greatly improved since then, with hardly a cold left and done with her antibiotics.

Sunday, Charlotte and I headed to Birmingham for yet another appointment. I get pretty tired of traveling the road so much but I’m very lucky to have wonderful family in Birmingham. It is always a treat to see them. Monday, we headed to her Ophthalmologist appointment. I thought that maybe her eyes had improved a bit. However, Dr. Metz did not see much improvement. She will need eye surgery, but Dr. Metz wants to wait a few months in the hopes that her right eye might improve and only one would need correction. I am praying towards this.

Tuesday, we headed to an OB appointment were Charlotte and I were able to hear the whooshing of Peanuts heart as it pumped away. All seems to be progressing well. My nausea is much better though I still sometimes reach for Zofran to make it through the day. And my belly is all of the sudden growing at a rapid pace. I didn’t get all that huge with Charlotte but I can tell I’m going to be much bigger with this one.

Next Thursday, we head to UAB for the diagnostic ultra sound. I’m still anxious and praying for God’s peace. I have felt tons of movement which has been an encouragement. I would ask that you all continue to pray.

And finally, for those who are interested, I took picture of Charlotte’s braces. We practice standing for at least an hour a day. She has done well though sickness slowed her down for a few days.




Ben picked out the shoes for Charlotte while we were out shopping. Yep, she already has Toms and they work great with her braces.



New Christmas toys also help keep Charlotte entertained though she often gets tired and fussy at the end of a work out.



I hope you all our enjoying the New Year. I can’t believe it is already 2012 and I’m half way done with this pregnancy. I am looking forward to an eventful year and praying for God’s wisdom as we navigate the often tumultuous waters of parenthood.

"I have traveled many moonless nights. Cold and weary with a babe inside. And I wonder what I've done."

"Holy Father, You have come.
And chosen me now to carry Your son."

It’s been so long I’m not even sure where to begin! I’m impressed with all of you who spit out blogs like it is nothing, even during the holiday season. Holiday blogginitis: the inability to put one’s life into words during the holiday, and/or the lack of energy to write. Yep, that’s me…not to mention the nausea that continues to have me running for the kitchen sink and turning my nose at foods I used to love (chocolate).

However, Charlotte is in bed, thoroughly exhausted, because Lilly woke her from her nap THREE times; and Ben has brought work home with him tonight. I’m out of excuses, so I guess I need to write.



I believe I left off writing before Thanksgiving. I hope everyone had a wonderful time. We certainly did. We celebrated with family and had the wonderful treat of a visit with my dad for a few days. He is an amazing father but also one of my best friends, and I am always glad to have him near.



As is Charlotte.




From birth, our little girl has had a special affection for her Papa.




I think she has excellent taste :)



We were looking forward to a quieter end to November, but it seemed to disappear in a matter of moments. December has been, well, busy. There are all the typical holiday gatherings, plus doctors visits for Charlotte and for myself. Her last visit to Children’s to see Urology brought wonderful news: great looking kidneys and no in/out caths. Out urologist informed us that they do not consider Charlotte’s past UTIs as true infections. He let us know that because of her conditions she would always test positive for bacteria, but unless she has a fever don’t worry. YEAH!!! This meant that I did not allow my baby to go around with an infection. Lots of guilt was lifted off my shoulders at that visit.

Next, Charlotte had a 15month check up. All went well, though my pediatrician was surprised by her weight (18lb), saying she looked at least 20lb. Gotta love those chipmunk cheeks!!! I also had a doctor’s appointment to check on Peanut. I was able to hear the heart beat which I love, and my doctor let me know they would schedule me for a diagnostic ultrasound at UAB. This is due to the fact that I am at a higher risk to have a child with SB, although the odds are still relatively low. I won’t lie; as Christmas nears, my anxiety level about this ultrasound increases. I would take a thousand Charlottes. She is more than I could ever want or deserve. However, I still want a healthy baby, because it is so hard to watch a child suffer. I know that God is in control of this situation and there is nothing more I can do, but worry still creeps into my heart. I am praying for peace in any and all circumstances and the strength to reign in my thoughts.

Charlotte also has an appointment with her Ophthalmologist in a few weeks to see about eye surgery. I am praying for strength through this trial as well. But on a brighter note: Charlotte now has her braces! We are practicing standing everyday for at least an hour. Wow, it wears us both out. I now know that physical therapists have to be in good shape. I’m having a hard time, and my girl is tiny. It will probably still be awhile before she walks, but starting the steps towards it is quite exciting.

And for even MORE exciting news…

We headed down to Auburn this past weekend to celebrate Nadia’s, my brother's girlfriend, graduation. It was a ton of fun hanging out and gathering for the fun occasion. Sunday, after a delicious meal filled with family and friends we went outside to take pictures. I was trying to keep bundled up, when all of the sudden Will was down on one knee. Nadia, with tears in her eyes, replied with a resounding YES. She seems like family already, but we are all thrilled to see them take this wonderful step. In a way it’s hard to believe that my big brother, ever the bachelor, is tying the knot. But I’m thrilled. Marriage is so much better than dating. You get to live and travel life with your best friend. Will is not only hilarious and smart but one of the most thoughtful people I know, and I think those qualities will be cherished by Nadia in their marriage. Nadia is also smart (I’m the one in the family lacking brains) funny, genuine, so helpful, and best of all she likes my brother. I can’t wait for the big day. I’m just hoping that it is more than a day or two after June 3 :)


I hope you all are enjoying the season with friends and family. This Christmas I am often thinking of Mary and her journey. I carry my own babe and the love I have for this child is beyond words. What a wonder it must have been for her to know that in her womb was the Savior; that the babe she would nurse would change the world. And how hard it must have been to hear the words of those who did not believe her situation. How hard it must have been to travel and give birth in a strange place without the comfort of a mother or aunt to help her. Yet, she quietly and humbly obeyed. I continue to pray for Mary’s quiet heart when my mind rattles with all that surrounds me and my spirit grows weary.



MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

"Nothing last forever even the cold November rain"

I worked out for the first time since I found out I was expecting. Yes, I know, that's pretty pathetic. It is just so hard to work out when you are tired and nauseous, but I've decided I have been a bum long enough. Tomorrow I'll be 12 weeks and I am determined to continue exercising through out this pregnancy, morning sickness or not!



The other reason I haven't been exercising is because of travel. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. We are greatly looking forward to the quieter half of November. Then December comes and brings with it a bit of chaos, but also lots of holiday cheer :)

We did have a lovely time on our extended visit to Covington. It was bliss to have my parents help with Charlotte in the morning and to be "looked after." It was nice to spend days playing with Charlotte instead of worrying about my typically long to-do list. The days were crisp and full of fall color.



We spent a fair amount of time outdoors enjoying the leaves and chill of November.




Charlotte enjoys being outside, and I have to admit I am not quite ready for the days when going outside means a frozen face. So, we will try to soak up the nice days while they last.




While we were in my hometown we celebrated Meghan's baby shower. I had a blast decorating my mom's house and arranging flowers. We decided on the colors pink and orange and threw in Jellybean accents because Meghan called the baby Jellybean before she found out she was having a girl.





I made cake pops again and even gave Charlotte a taste; she loved them!






The house was full of women enjoying the celebration of a new life that Meghan and Tom will soon be holding.





I had to sneak up stairs and put Charlotte to bed before Meghan opened all her presents, but I did get to see quite a few lovely things that had been specially picked out for Josey.




I am hoping Meghan had a good time. I definitely did. It was wonderful to celebrate Josey and the joy she will bring as well as catch up with old friends.

Saturday we celebrated my niece Lia's 1st Birthday. I took tons of pictures, but I'm going to let my brother Henry use them for his own post. I will say that it was a blast. The food was awesome, and by awesome I mean when Charlotte finished the cupcake I gave her she started SCREAMING for more. Lia was the perfect party girl. She looked adorable, was happy to see all her guests, greatly enjoyed her cupcake, and was thrilled by her presents. I can't believe she is already one. I can't believe she and Charlotte no longer look like babies. I can't believe I'm expecting number 2!

After a wonderful visit in Covington, my mom and I headed to Childrens' again for Charlotte to have a CT scan. I had been nervous about the possibility of another shunt malfunction, but her ventricle sizes had come down. It was a bit scary to see change. They showed us what her brain looked like after a normal CT and the CT before surgery. The swelling was huge. They even warned us that her ventricles may never go down to the size they were. I am just continuing to pray that if she has another malfunction, the signs will be obvious.

In all other ways Charlotte seems to be thriving. She is army crawling rapidly these days, has mastered transitioning from laying to sitting, and tries to get up on her knees. She has tried to pull up to reach toys. This week she was fitted for braces, and I can't wait to see the improvements she will make with them. Once again, thank you for all the prayers and support!!

Oh, and if I don't manage a post before Thursday (which is likely) Have A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!!

Blessed be your name, on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name."

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” (Philippians 1: 3-6)

How do I begin to thank you, my friends and family and even those of you I don’t personally know, for your prayers, kind words, and support? You cannot begin to imagine the impact they have made. I am so humbled, often thinking how undeserving I am of your kindness; yet grateful that you love our family enough that you would call upon the Father to aid us. I continue to be awed by the Body of Christ. I have been prayed for my entire life but I think I took those prayers for granted too often until Charlotte’s diagnosis. You have prayed with me as I prayed; you have prayed for our family when I had no prayers left. And I am daily thanking God for placing you all in my life. Know that your words and support were needed, were genuinely felt, were a balm to weary hearts, and will not be forgotten.

Tuesday, we got up in the wee hours of the morning to make it to the hospital by 5:30am. I had been dreading waking up Charlotte and not being able to feed her. I had a friend specifically praying for this trial. The prayers were heard and God came through in a big way. Charlotte did wonderfully. I did have a secret weapon to help ensure her happiness: my mom. She fussed a little but once I had her changed and in my mother’s arms she really didn’t fuss. We arrived at the hospital, signed in, and then had a long wait ahead of us. Charlotte was doing fine and I was doing ok running off sheer adrenaline. At around 7am we were called back to do some tests and then it was on to a preOP waiting room. Several different teams came in and checked on Charlotte, asking us questions and reviewing her chart. She napped on me some which were precious moments that I savored.

A nurse for Anesthesiology came in and told us to follow her. We walked down hospital hall ways and I thought we were headed to another room. But there in a hallway she kindly said this is as far as we could go. I had to hand Charlotte over as she clung to stay with me and turn on my daughter and walk away. It was a moment I will never forget and do not wish on anyone. I really don’t think it matters if your child is having their tonsils taken out or brain surgery, walking away is almost impossible. It goes against our instinct as mothers. We are placing them in “harms” way, for their betterment but still where pain lies ahead. And we are putting our trust in strangers, people who don’t know our children, people who cannot possibly know how wonderful or how much joy our babies have brought to our lives. It is for their betterment, so against instinct, against the nature that God placed in us to protect our young at all cost, we hand them over. It is a moment that will haunt me.

At Children’s they give you beeper devices much like those at restaurants, that light up and vibrate when there is news on you child’s surgery. We took our beeper and headed over to a waiting area with my mom and my in-laws. And we began the wait. I couldn’t small talk and I could barely contain my tears, so I put on headphones and tried to find comfort in music. But there really is no comfort in moments like those; as my husband said, you just survive. We survived till the first page which told us they were beginning to operate. We survived till Dr. Wellons came and told us the surgery had been successful. I was relived but mainly still in survival mode till they call us back to see Charlotte.

Charlotte immediately began to cry in raspy tones when she saw me and I cried as well. Cried because she looked too small for her hospital bed and she seemed so frail. Cried because she was ok and I could finally hold her. I held her and she fell in and out of sleep in my arms. We went to a room and Charlotte continued to do well the rest of the afternoon. She napped off and on, played with puzzles, and ate hardly. The doctors informed us that normally recovery is very fast and in a day or two she should be back to normal. There were tests and different nurses in and out and the night was much the same. She continued to do well though she screamed during the finger prick to draw blood, and the sight of the slow processes made me nauseous. I am thin skinned when it comes to seeing my child in pain.

The morning progressed much the same with only one incident of Charlotte throwing up on the two of us after being given disgusting Advil. But she recovered quickly. Late morning Neurology came by and gave us the go ahead to be discharged as well as how to care for the incision.

We headed home Wednesday, and have been trying to lay low ever since. I did have a Peanut check up in Huntsville which was Charlotte’s first trip out. Neurology recommend that we try to limit her exposure as much as possible to lessen the risk of infection.

Charlotte has jumped back just as they said she would.



She is sorting, exploring and continues to be my little observer.



Charlotte continues to be curious of Lilly, but shies away from her stinky licks 




I’ve tried to get her in the fresh air as much as possible after being cooped up in the hospital.



She loves being outside.



Charlotte seems to be doing well, though I worry at any sign of fatigue or fussiness. We were all under the mistaken notion that they had caught the malfunction early, and that this was the reason she was un-symptomatic. However, this was not the case. Charlotte was at the point were most children are displaying signs like vomiting and lethargy. We go back this Monday for another CT scan and I am praying that all looks well. I am also praying that if she has another malfunction there will be obvious signs. It scares me to think that her spinal fluid could be swelling up in her brain without me having a clue. I am trying to trust in the Great Physician who has so lovingly cared for my daughter thus far. His plans “are to prosper (her) and not to harm (her).”

In the meantime I’m going to enjoy my time in Covington. Charlotte and I headed down today. I have a baby shower for a life long friend of mine, Meghan. I love baby showers…all the cute clothes, and it will be wonderful to see my friends and best of all, to celebrate this new life. I am also thrilled to be celebrating my niece Lia’s 1st Birthday. I can’t believe how quickly the time passes. It seems like not to long ago Dana and I were both soothing little babies on Thanksgiving and now these girls are entering toddlerhood. Time passes much too quickly with children.