As most of you know Ben and I are expecting a baby girl Sept. 6, 2010. I took a pregnancy test the Monday after Christmas. I thought there was no way we could be pregnant but my heart longed to see a positive result…and THERE IT WAS!!! Ben made me take another test just to be sure!! We were thrilled to know we would soon embark on the journey of parenthood. The first trimester seemed to lag on with constant nausea, but I tried to remind myself about the many women I know who have had it way worse.
Suddenly we were in the second trimester. I was feeling much better and counting down the weeks till we would find out the sex of BB (Baby Bratton). When I found out I was expecting all preconceived notions of what gender child I wanted went out the window and was replaced with a desire for a healthy baby whether boy or girl. People would ask what I thought I was having, and I never really had a clue. Yet, my mom, in-laws, and husband felt confident it would be a girl.
Finally 20weeks arrive!! My mom, mother-in-law and Ben accompanied me to the ultrasound. It was wonderful to see how much BB had grown and watch as BB moved and kicked. And after much measuring and checking the nurse finally told us we were expecting a little girl: Charlotte Frances Bratton!!! Everyone was thrilled. Unfortunately, the news was not all good. During the ultrasound my Doctor noticed an abnormality in the shape of the head which is referred to as the “lemon sign.” Ben and I were shocked and upset as she told us this shape could be a sign of Spina bifida and that we would have to see a specialist in Birmingham. I was extremely upset, but we did manage to celebrate the rest of the day by shopping for cute dresses and fun toys.
The days between my ultrasound and my appointment at the UAB hospital (about a week) seem to drag as anxiety about Charlotte’s health tore at me. Ben had a very positive outlook, and I tried to as well. My father informed me that only 1 out of every 20 children displaying the “lemon sign” has Spina Bifida which were good odds. I prayed fervently for Charlotte’s health and tried to trust in the sovereignty of God though I had my low moments.
Finally Wednesday arrived and Ben and I met my parents in Birmingham for the appointment. We waited anxiously as the doctor looked at Charlotte. When the doctor was finally done, he brought up a picture of her spine on the ultra sound and showed us that she did indeed have Spina Bifida. Right above her tail bone in the Sacral area of the spine there are around 3 vertebrae that did not close when she was developing early on. My first question was how severe this was since there are numerous levels of Spina Bifida. He told us that this was a more minor case. He then explained that she would need surgery right after she was born to close this area and try to salvage any nerves. Charlotte would probably have to be in the hospital for around 2 weeks to heal and be monitored. She also could possibly need a shunt later on to drain excess fluid from her brain. He informed us that with an opening this low the complications tend to be bladder and bowel control. Typically, one can still train the child in this area and by the time they are school aged there is no noticeable evidence of Spina Bifida. He let us know that I would need to continue coming for check up visits every four to six weeks and that it would be best to deliver Charlotte at UAB. The doctor also let us know that it would be important to have a strong network of people looking out for and monitoring Charlotte’s progress. This means I will have a pediatrician at home but most likely go to UAB for periodic checkups. As the pregnancy progresses I will be meeting with a team of doctors to discuss the birth and future therapy Charlotte might need.
It was a lot to take in. I recognize that in the scheme of things this prognosis is not so bad. Spina Bifida can be much more severe and even life threatening. It doesn’t and never will change how much I love her. How could it possibly? I know that God is in control, this is part of His plan. However, it is hard to know that my little baby girl whom I already love more than life itself, will have to have surgery when she is still so tiny. I have been fantasizing about the birth…about holding her right after she is born, about breastfeeding and bonding with her, about my family being around me all vying for a turn to hold her. It is hard to let those moments go. There is a fierce love and protection that comes with having a child. You would do anything to make them whole and healthy. It has also been hard not to blame myself, although my family, my husband, and the doctors have reminded me that this is not my fault and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent this. Yet it is hard to believe it, because you feel so responsible for the person growing inside you.
It is tough news, and I wish I could say I was totally fine with it; but I’m not. However, I do find great comfort in the fact that this is a more minor Spina bifida, I will probably still be able to deliver vaginally, and I do not have to undergo amniocenteses. In every other way Charlotte is thus far growing and developing great, and Ben, Charlotte, and I have the love, support, and prayers of so many wonderful friends and family. I also find great comfort in the knowledge that God was and is in control. He is both sovereign and good. He has been so very faithful to me my entire life and He will continue to be. Even this is part of His handiwork and will glorify Him. There is no one who loves Charlotte more than her Creator and I am trying to lean and trust in Him.
Thanks to all of you who have cried with me, made me laugh when I thought all I could do was cry, called, written emails and messages, and prayed for our family. Your support has been amazing and I would ask for your continued prayers. Please pray for Charlotte’s health and growth. Pray also for Ben and me, for peace about the future, for wisdom, and for strength. Thanks so much and I’ll try to keep everyone posted as things progress.
“You formed [Charlotte’s] inmost being;
you knit [her] in [her] mother's womb.
[She will] praise you, so wonderfully you made [her];
wonderful are your works! [Her] very self you knew;
[Charlotte’s] bones were not hidden from you,
When [she] was being made in secret,
fashioned as in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes foresaw [her] actions;
in your book all are written down;
[her] days were shaped, before one came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
"I'm coming home/ made up my mind that's what I'm going to do/ Can't love nobody on the telephone/ I'm coming home to you"
Please don’t make me get in another vehicle for at least a month!!! I love to travel but I have to say that Ben and I are worn out. Christmas always brings lots of to and fro. But now that it’s January I’m ready for our cars and behinds to have a break. Just this past week I was in Huntsville three days in a row and then we went to my home town for the weekend, then Monday I was back in Huntsville!!! And to top it off I have a cold which is draining me of what little energy I had. God tells us to take a day of rest however; I’m tempted to take 10 in a row.
I say traveling to Huntsville three days in a row wore me out but honestly, when we first moved to Scottsboro, I thought I’d be there all the time. I assumed I’d still head to Publix for my groceries instead of facing my arch enemy Wal-Mart. Plus there is the wonderful world of Costco and my favorite nurseries: the Greenery and Bennett’s, all in Huntsville. How can I neglect the library? Though the Huntsville Library is not my favorite because of its dark 70s interior, it is stilled filled with a wealth of books. The first time I went to Scottsboro’s library I cried on the way home. It was so miniscule I really couldn’t believe it. Maybe this was a big deal to me because as a child the library was a favorite outing. Covington’s library was a world of magic, learning, and discovery with many books and sweet librarians always willing to help us. Ever since I have had a fondness for libraries which has only grown with time.
Yet I still don’t make it to Huntsville very often. I guess I’ve learned to conqueror monstrous Wal-Mart, though I still hate every minute of it. And I find the produce stands here in Scottsboro quite suffice. I’ve even enjoyed finding new little local shops. My favorite haunts include: Unique Treasures with its great selection of affordable antiques, Wimberley House for its wealth of cute décor, Unclaimed Baggage because, well…it’s Unclaimed Baggage, Goody Too Shoes with all their wonderful clothes, and a few others. And I can’t leave out Hammer’s. Some people might not believe me when I say I sometimes enjoy shopping in Scottsboro!
I can’t say I’m country and I worried that I wouldn’t fit-in in Scottsboro. But I’ve met the most fabulous people in our community. Our church is a big part of why we moved to Scottsboro in the first place. I can’t praise Riverside Community Church enough. Ben and I have found a home there and are thrilled to be a part of such a wonderful group of believers. I also love our street with so many friendly neighbors and families out in their yards together. I might not be the typical Scottsboro resident but who is “typical”? Our friends accept me as I am which makes me feel right at home.
I’ve learned that even though Scottsboro is small and rural it has some great things to offer. I still am longing for better restaurants, a nice grocery store, and a Chick-fil-A. I would also love to see a higher value placed on cultural items and the arts. But no town is perfect and I truly believe this is where Ben and I are supposed to be. I’m learning to feel at home here and really enjoy what North Alabama has to offer. However, I do still get misty eyed when I go to the library. I suppose that’s how it always is: the good with the bad. I worry that my children won’t have the same experiences I did, but I’m learning that’s ok, they’ll have their own…maybe Chattanooga has the magical library I’m longing for and it’s only a day trip away.
I say traveling to Huntsville three days in a row wore me out but honestly, when we first moved to Scottsboro, I thought I’d be there all the time. I assumed I’d still head to Publix for my groceries instead of facing my arch enemy Wal-Mart. Plus there is the wonderful world of Costco and my favorite nurseries: the Greenery and Bennett’s, all in Huntsville. How can I neglect the library? Though the Huntsville Library is not my favorite because of its dark 70s interior, it is stilled filled with a wealth of books. The first time I went to Scottsboro’s library I cried on the way home. It was so miniscule I really couldn’t believe it. Maybe this was a big deal to me because as a child the library was a favorite outing. Covington’s library was a world of magic, learning, and discovery with many books and sweet librarians always willing to help us. Ever since I have had a fondness for libraries which has only grown with time.
Yet I still don’t make it to Huntsville very often. I guess I’ve learned to conqueror monstrous Wal-Mart, though I still hate every minute of it. And I find the produce stands here in Scottsboro quite suffice. I’ve even enjoyed finding new little local shops. My favorite haunts include: Unique Treasures with its great selection of affordable antiques, Wimberley House for its wealth of cute décor, Unclaimed Baggage because, well…it’s Unclaimed Baggage, Goody Too Shoes with all their wonderful clothes, and a few others. And I can’t leave out Hammer’s. Some people might not believe me when I say I sometimes enjoy shopping in Scottsboro!
I can’t say I’m country and I worried that I wouldn’t fit-in in Scottsboro. But I’ve met the most fabulous people in our community. Our church is a big part of why we moved to Scottsboro in the first place. I can’t praise Riverside Community Church enough. Ben and I have found a home there and are thrilled to be a part of such a wonderful group of believers. I also love our street with so many friendly neighbors and families out in their yards together. I might not be the typical Scottsboro resident but who is “typical”? Our friends accept me as I am which makes me feel right at home.
I’ve learned that even though Scottsboro is small and rural it has some great things to offer. I still am longing for better restaurants, a nice grocery store, and a Chick-fil-A. I would also love to see a higher value placed on cultural items and the arts. But no town is perfect and I truly believe this is where Ben and I are supposed to be. I’m learning to feel at home here and really enjoy what North Alabama has to offer. However, I do still get misty eyed when I go to the library. I suppose that’s how it always is: the good with the bad. I worry that my children won’t have the same experiences I did, but I’m learning that’s ok, they’ll have their own…maybe Chattanooga has the magical library I’m longing for and it’s only a day trip away.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room!
Christmas was a wonderful time with family and friends. I really can’t believe it’s over and a new year will soon begin. And as always I wonder what this coming year will hold. 2009 was a bit crazy for Ben and me as I described in my last blog. It makes me think 2010 will hold even more nuttiness. And I, like millions of others, like to make resolutions. Now don’t make too much fun of them!!
New Year’s Resolutions 2010 (in no particular order)
· Walk at least four times a week!! I’m pretty bad about exercise but I’d like to change that.
· Continue to stay out of the sun/tanning beds. It has been a struggle ever since my mother sent out her Christmas card and I noticed that my face was so pale it resembled something out of the Twilight series. If anyone knows of a good self tanner please let me know!!
· Worry less, pray more. It’s always a resolution for me but I feel like this coming year I can look back and see how Amazingly God provided in 2009. His faithfulness to me in the midst of my struggles strengthens my resolve. And I have lately realized I just don’t pray enough. I want to go to God all the time, pray without ceasing. I need to rely on Him constantly because on my own I make a mess out of everything. My words and actions show that my heart is not relying on Christ. But I’m asking God to reveal more of Himself to me and mold me into something that will glorify Him and bless others. I’d love y’all to pray for me too!!!
· Be more kind, more loving, more submissive, and a better listener for my husband. God has provided me with “the one whom my soul longs” for, yet so many times he gets my frustration, shortness, and tiredness. Ben is a great, no wonderful, no fabulous, no incredible, no…you get the picture. I’d like to be the kind of wife that God lauds in the bible. The one who encourages, listens, and obeys her husband. I need A LOT more work. Ben can certainly attest to that. However, I hope that God will help me grow exponentially in 2010.
· Paint a room. I’ve never done that!! And paint a bedside table.
· Plant a tree in the back yard for shade. I’ve got it pick out, it’s digging the monster hole that overwhelms me.
· Clean more often. Ok, I’ll admit, I wait until the floors and shelves have layers of dust and grime on them before I pull out the dustier and mop. Then I crazy clean to make up for not doing it. I’m typically exhausted and moody by the end of the day. I’d like to start doing a little bit of cleaning more often. No promises….I’m just going to try.
· Stick to the budget better. I’m not going to go into details except the one telling y’all I’m horrible with budgets. Yeah for Doc and Jennifer’s class!!! I know Ben is longing for me to take lots of notes and put them to action.
· Laugh, I love to and it’s what I do best. It might be the one thing I’m actually good at!! So I need to laugh as much as possible.
· Make sure I tell people how great they are. I’m not exactly thoughtful but I’d like to be more so in 2010. I’m surrounded by so many amazing people at church, in my family, in my in-lawed family, etc. I want them to know how much they mean to me.
· Finish putting away Christmas decorations.
· Send out a Christmas card. I’ve made this resolution since Ben and I got married…maybe this is the year!
I’m sure more things will come to me in the weeks ahead but this list already seems a bit overwhelming so I’ll stop here. I hope all of you had a very merry Christmas filled with the joy of remembering Christ’s birth, the comfort of time spent with family, the merriment of opening gifts, and the love of our wonderful Savior.
New Year’s Resolutions 2010 (in no particular order)
· Walk at least four times a week!! I’m pretty bad about exercise but I’d like to change that.
· Continue to stay out of the sun/tanning beds. It has been a struggle ever since my mother sent out her Christmas card and I noticed that my face was so pale it resembled something out of the Twilight series. If anyone knows of a good self tanner please let me know!!
· Worry less, pray more. It’s always a resolution for me but I feel like this coming year I can look back and see how Amazingly God provided in 2009. His faithfulness to me in the midst of my struggles strengthens my resolve. And I have lately realized I just don’t pray enough. I want to go to God all the time, pray without ceasing. I need to rely on Him constantly because on my own I make a mess out of everything. My words and actions show that my heart is not relying on Christ. But I’m asking God to reveal more of Himself to me and mold me into something that will glorify Him and bless others. I’d love y’all to pray for me too!!!
· Be more kind, more loving, more submissive, and a better listener for my husband. God has provided me with “the one whom my soul longs” for, yet so many times he gets my frustration, shortness, and tiredness. Ben is a great, no wonderful, no fabulous, no incredible, no…you get the picture. I’d like to be the kind of wife that God lauds in the bible. The one who encourages, listens, and obeys her husband. I need A LOT more work. Ben can certainly attest to that. However, I hope that God will help me grow exponentially in 2010.
· Paint a room. I’ve never done that!! And paint a bedside table.
· Plant a tree in the back yard for shade. I’ve got it pick out, it’s digging the monster hole that overwhelms me.
· Clean more often. Ok, I’ll admit, I wait until the floors and shelves have layers of dust and grime on them before I pull out the dustier and mop. Then I crazy clean to make up for not doing it. I’m typically exhausted and moody by the end of the day. I’d like to start doing a little bit of cleaning more often. No promises….I’m just going to try.
· Stick to the budget better. I’m not going to go into details except the one telling y’all I’m horrible with budgets. Yeah for Doc and Jennifer’s class!!! I know Ben is longing for me to take lots of notes and put them to action.
· Laugh, I love to and it’s what I do best. It might be the one thing I’m actually good at!! So I need to laugh as much as possible.
· Make sure I tell people how great they are. I’m not exactly thoughtful but I’d like to be more so in 2010. I’m surrounded by so many amazing people at church, in my family, in my in-lawed family, etc. I want them to know how much they mean to me.
· Finish putting away Christmas decorations.
· Send out a Christmas card. I’ve made this resolution since Ben and I got married…maybe this is the year!
I’m sure more things will come to me in the weeks ahead but this list already seems a bit overwhelming so I’ll stop here. I hope all of you had a very merry Christmas filled with the joy of remembering Christ’s birth, the comfort of time spent with family, the merriment of opening gifts, and the love of our wonderful Savior.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
So I quit writing in my blog but after months/years away and a little encouragement from others I thought I’d pick right back up. I’d like to start with a few quick updates. We are now in Scottsboro which I enjoy though I do reminisce about Publix and Target quite a bit. I’m currently staying at home tending the house while Ben works his tail end off at Tennessee River Steel.
Friends and family I’m in a bit of shock that it’s almost Christmas. WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS YEAR?!! It was a crazy year for both Ben and me with moving, work, and all the things that life throws our way. But, by the grace of God, we made it through. I was just discussing with my wonderful mother that when you are young it seems like you have a choice between a hard thing and an easy thing. Yet now it seems my choices are often between something hard and harder. Life never ceases to throw more at us each year. But God is sovereign and He is good. He knows I need those hard things thrown my way so that I will cling more fervently to Him. Sad to say but true. My mind often clings to things that will quickly pass but the cross bids me come and die.
That dying can be utterly painfully but I’m finding the joy of living in Christ to far exceed the momentary pain. Isn’t our God kind?! That in the midst of trials (most of which I bring on myself) He can provide peace and joy. I get work up about a plethora of things…most of which aren’t worth the effort. But God comes to my aid when I feel I can’t take one more thing. He might not take my trial away but the Holy Spirit leads me to look beyond, to Him. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a very self centered person. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. :) Many times I don’t want to go to God with my trails because I resent what He will ask of me. I kick and kick for days, weeks, months to avoid what I know is required. However, when my fighting has ceased and I finally run to our awesome God, He is there with love, rebuke and GRACE!! He doesn’t give up on me.
Totally off subject but I also wanted to tell y’all that I caved. Ben has been drooling over motorcycles for awhile now and I gave him the go ahead. Now I’m sure many of you think I’m utterly insane. My parents have known that for years. And you are going to think I’m really crazy when I say: I think it might be fun. Me on the back of a motorcycle seems pretty humorous but what the heck. Actually he has already taken me for a spin. It was around 9pm Tuesday. It was cold so I threw sweat pants (that have gaping holes in them) on over my pjs. I also donned my crocs over my fuzzy house socks. I told Ben we mustn’t run into anyone. I mean what were the odds?!! We only know half the people on our street!! We zipped along in the frigid air and ran into Scott Parr. Sweet Scott laughed his head off and TOOK A PICTURE OF ME. Sweet, sweet Scott, I shall get my revenge.
All that to say Ben and I are now the proud owners of a motorcycle. You probably wonder if I am in fear for his life. I do worry a bit but Ben is responsible, smart, and an insanely wonderful husband. A motorcycle might not be the safest hobby but in my book he could make a worse decision. I also have to say that it makes my heart leap seeing him so thrilled and excited about something. And biker babe just has a nice ring to it doesn’t it!!!
Friends and family I’m in a bit of shock that it’s almost Christmas. WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS YEAR?!! It was a crazy year for both Ben and me with moving, work, and all the things that life throws our way. But, by the grace of God, we made it through. I was just discussing with my wonderful mother that when you are young it seems like you have a choice between a hard thing and an easy thing. Yet now it seems my choices are often between something hard and harder. Life never ceases to throw more at us each year. But God is sovereign and He is good. He knows I need those hard things thrown my way so that I will cling more fervently to Him. Sad to say but true. My mind often clings to things that will quickly pass but the cross bids me come and die.
That dying can be utterly painfully but I’m finding the joy of living in Christ to far exceed the momentary pain. Isn’t our God kind?! That in the midst of trials (most of which I bring on myself) He can provide peace and joy. I get work up about a plethora of things…most of which aren’t worth the effort. But God comes to my aid when I feel I can’t take one more thing. He might not take my trial away but the Holy Spirit leads me to look beyond, to Him. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a very self centered person. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. :) Many times I don’t want to go to God with my trails because I resent what He will ask of me. I kick and kick for days, weeks, months to avoid what I know is required. However, when my fighting has ceased and I finally run to our awesome God, He is there with love, rebuke and GRACE!! He doesn’t give up on me.
Totally off subject but I also wanted to tell y’all that I caved. Ben has been drooling over motorcycles for awhile now and I gave him the go ahead. Now I’m sure many of you think I’m utterly insane. My parents have known that for years. And you are going to think I’m really crazy when I say: I think it might be fun. Me on the back of a motorcycle seems pretty humorous but what the heck. Actually he has already taken me for a spin. It was around 9pm Tuesday. It was cold so I threw sweat pants (that have gaping holes in them) on over my pjs. I also donned my crocs over my fuzzy house socks. I told Ben we mustn’t run into anyone. I mean what were the odds?!! We only know half the people on our street!! We zipped along in the frigid air and ran into Scott Parr. Sweet Scott laughed his head off and TOOK A PICTURE OF ME. Sweet, sweet Scott, I shall get my revenge.
All that to say Ben and I are now the proud owners of a motorcycle. You probably wonder if I am in fear for his life. I do worry a bit but Ben is responsible, smart, and an insanely wonderful husband. A motorcycle might not be the safest hobby but in my book he could make a worse decision. I also have to say that it makes my heart leap seeing him so thrilled and excited about something. And biker babe just has a nice ring to it doesn’t it!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
"Sometimes I feel like, I've never been nothin' but tired, And I'll be walkin', Till the day I expire"
" Sometimes I feel like/ I've never been nothing but tired/ And I'll be walking/Till the day I expire/ Sometimes I lay down/No more can I do/ But then I go on again/Because you ask me to"
It seems as if it has been a lifetime since I have blogged. Though, much has happened since my last post. I finally retired from the world of banking!!!! My last day was a little earlier than planned, Aug. 26. You would think that no longer working would lend me considerably more time to blog, but this hasn’t been the case. For one thing, I am not at a computer all day, and the one we have at home is pretty slow. And secondly, I stay much busier at home. I was telling my mom yesterday that being a full time house wife is not a glamorous job. You have to make sacrifices when there is only one income, you don’t get much praise or any promotions, and most of the tasks are menial and have to be repeated everyday. BUT, I still feel much more accomplished at the end of the day than I did at the bank. I also feel that my time has been spent doing something that matters, at least to our family. And I feel that communication with Ben is so much better because we are not both drained. It’s not glamorous in a worldly since but I am content and feel this is where God has called me to be. What could be more glamorous and altogether fulfilling than being where God wants me?!!
Although I hadn’t expected quitting on that date it worked out great because Ben and I were able to leave early on Friday to head to the first
The weekend after our venture to AU we headed to
This past weekend was not quite so eventful. I was looking forward to a weekend at home because of all our travel. And because I have been waking up at 4am for the last several days. It is just now 5:20am as I type this. Needless to say, I was looking forward to rest. Friday Ben and I went and saw Tyler Perry’s The Family that Preys. We have become huge fans of his is the last few months. His movies talk about serious topics with lots of humor, honesty, no nudity, rarely much langue, and from a pretty Godly perspective as far as
Well, I guess that catches everyone up on the past few weeks of my life. Sorry, it was probably a frightfully boring read but I felt compelled to post and catch up on life’s little events. I will try to be more faithful though the months ahead will be insanely busy for Ben and me. Hope everyone has a wonderful Week!!!
Note: I actually typed this blog Tuesday morning but did not post till now J
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
"Our house is a very, very fine house, With two cats in the yard, Life use to be so hard, Now everything is easy cause of YOU"
The misery of selling a house. I can tell you that it is NO fun AT all. I’m a planner. I have an agenda and I always have lists everywhere. As a person my emotions are volatile and my art oriented brain tends to think a little wacky so I like order everywhere else in my life. I like steady. It’s one of the things that drew me to Ben; his steadiness in the midst of my craziness. Selling a house does not fit into the pattern I like. God is definitely trying to hammer some patience into my stubborn heart.
There are two reasons selling a house makes me crazy. The first is having to clean the house in a split second because some one wants to see it in an hour. Yesterday, during my lunch, I scrubbed tile in our shower and Windexed windows in my work clothes. I came back to work pitted out and smelling of Clorox wipes. It’s not that I hate cleaning so much; it’s just that I hate not having advance notice. My mom teases me because when I know people are coming over I have a set cleaning routine. I think part of this is due to the fact that when one is off at work all day it’s hard to fit all the cleaning in and it’s the last thing I want to do at 8pm at night. I would not say I am a total slob, I HAVE to have a clean kitchen and I’d say I keep some areas up to pare. But I’m a project person, so there is always random stuff lying about. And it seems that I can never get on top of clutter that creeps in everyday. Where the heck does that stuff come from?!! Another difference is that it’s not my mom coming over, it’s random people that I don’t know so I feel like toothbrushes and birthday cards must disappear. All the personal effects must be (literally) swept under the rug or in the nearest cabinet. Ben and I have so often rushed to hide things in random drawers that we can’t seem to find anything.
Yet God grant grace, even for the cleaning. Monday I had back home bread and fix shrimp and grits so the evening had been full. But I still had an itch to clean, partly due to the fact that my brother and sister-in-law will be coming in this Friday. I worked hard that night to scrub the kitchen and make sure the guest room was looking nice. I even made an attempt to get on top of that endless clutter. And when Tuesday morning came I actually neatly, made the bed and tidied up our toiletries before work. All this is to say, the house was in more order than usual. So when Ben called yesterday to say I needed to clean during lunch because people wanted to see the house, I was not thrilled but I had a doable amount of work. I even thought, as sweat trickled down my back while wiping our bathroom counter, that God might be helping me to learn to be more orderly.
However I am in need of God’s grace when it comes to timing. This is the second item which I despised about selling. You have worked your heart out to make your home shine to the buyer. It is houses which you love, have made so many memories in, but know it is time to leave. And they come and peak into your life, yet you have no idea of their judgment. You don’t know if they will call or not. And if they don’t, what was wrong with this home you love so much. The unknown. I hate it. I like things to flow from one situation to the next. When I make a decision I want the consequential action to be taken immediately. The timing of selling our house is driving me a bit coo-coo.
Once again, I must remember that God is both sovereign and good. He has a plan for me and it is good. He has also given me tools to use to handle the trial ahead. Soon I will be through with work (yippee for Sept 3) and be able to spend the bulk of my time on keeping up our house. I count this as a blessing from God. His way of giving me a break during the insanity. He has also given me a loving husband who works extremely hard to keep me happy. Ben has been a rock since day one of our marriage and continues to be even when I’m nuts. And greatest of all, God has given me Himself to lean on and rely on. All I must do is submit. I’m stubborn and do not come by submitting naturally but God is wooing me as He always does. His love and comfort are undeniable far greater than anything here on earth. I know that if I open my heart to Him He will teach me great things in the midst of my trials and refine me. I must not be scare of having to be refined but run to it.
There are two reasons selling a house makes me crazy. The first is having to clean the house in a split second because some one wants to see it in an hour. Yesterday, during my lunch, I scrubbed tile in our shower and Windexed windows in my work clothes. I came back to work pitted out and smelling of Clorox wipes. It’s not that I hate cleaning so much; it’s just that I hate not having advance notice. My mom teases me because when I know people are coming over I have a set cleaning routine. I think part of this is due to the fact that when one is off at work all day it’s hard to fit all the cleaning in and it’s the last thing I want to do at 8pm at night. I would not say I am a total slob, I HAVE to have a clean kitchen and I’d say I keep some areas up to pare. But I’m a project person, so there is always random stuff lying about. And it seems that I can never get on top of clutter that creeps in everyday. Where the heck does that stuff come from?!! Another difference is that it’s not my mom coming over, it’s random people that I don’t know so I feel like toothbrushes and birthday cards must disappear. All the personal effects must be (literally) swept under the rug or in the nearest cabinet. Ben and I have so often rushed to hide things in random drawers that we can’t seem to find anything.
Yet God grant grace, even for the cleaning. Monday I had back home bread and fix shrimp and grits so the evening had been full. But I still had an itch to clean, partly due to the fact that my brother and sister-in-law will be coming in this Friday. I worked hard that night to scrub the kitchen and make sure the guest room was looking nice. I even made an attempt to get on top of that endless clutter. And when Tuesday morning came I actually neatly, made the bed and tidied up our toiletries before work. All this is to say, the house was in more order than usual. So when Ben called yesterday to say I needed to clean during lunch because people wanted to see the house, I was not thrilled but I had a doable amount of work. I even thought, as sweat trickled down my back while wiping our bathroom counter, that God might be helping me to learn to be more orderly.
However I am in need of God’s grace when it comes to timing. This is the second item which I despised about selling. You have worked your heart out to make your home shine to the buyer. It is houses which you love, have made so many memories in, but know it is time to leave. And they come and peak into your life, yet you have no idea of their judgment. You don’t know if they will call or not. And if they don’t, what was wrong with this home you love so much. The unknown. I hate it. I like things to flow from one situation to the next. When I make a decision I want the consequential action to be taken immediately. The timing of selling our house is driving me a bit coo-coo.
Once again, I must remember that God is both sovereign and good. He has a plan for me and it is good. He has also given me tools to use to handle the trial ahead. Soon I will be through with work (yippee for Sept 3) and be able to spend the bulk of my time on keeping up our house. I count this as a blessing from God. His way of giving me a break during the insanity. He has also given me a loving husband who works extremely hard to keep me happy. Ben has been a rock since day one of our marriage and continues to be even when I’m nuts. And greatest of all, God has given me Himself to lean on and rely on. All I must do is submit. I’m stubborn and do not come by submitting naturally but God is wooing me as He always does. His love and comfort are undeniable far greater than anything here on earth. I know that if I open my heart to Him He will teach me great things in the midst of my trials and refine me. I must not be scare of having to be refined but run to it.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart; Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
"Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."
Lately I have been absorbed in post about “mommy-hood” and the tasks of staying at home. I will soon be quitting work (yippee) to pursue this role. Though I am not a mother yet, I hope to be one in the not too distant future. And lately my mind has been on Homeschooling; if, when the time comes, I should pursue this option with my children. My heart says yes, “it would be wonderful”; but my mind says: “what are you thinking?!…are you nuts!!! You don’t have the abilities needed for that…things like patience and intelligence…you really shouldn’t.” Alas, I am hoping that when the time comes my heart and mind will be on the same page.
I wrote on my homeschooling experience a little while back and decided to post my views. Hopefully, the words will encourage those who choose to teach at home; and give insight to those who don’t. I know it is a huge decision and I want people to understand why I might choose this route some day. God give me the grace when the time is needed to choose the option that will produce children whose sole purpose is to glorify You!
Southern Bell
Dixie land, the Bible belt, this is where I grew up. My home town of Covington lies forty-five minutes south east of Atlanta, which gives some people the idea that I am from a the big city; however, this is far from the truth. The little square in Covington which contains Claudia’s Flowers, Ace Hardware, and the Court House, is the heart of the town. We do have a Kroger’s and a Wal-Mart, but there are not any malls or fancy restaurants. The town is growing fast because of its close proximity to Atlanta and I suppose one day it will just be part of the urban sprawl, but I will always remember it as the “one horse town” in which I spent my childhood. Nevertheless, my childhood was slightly different than some of my friends. Like many southern children I grew up playing in red Georgia clay and going to visit our grazing cows on sunny afternoons. However, my education did not start in a preschool with ten other children.
My Mother is from Alabama and my Father is from Dalton, Georgia. They met at school in Vanderbilt and eventually moved to Covington where my father started his medical practice. Going against the tide, my mother decided to home-school my two older brothers and I because she was unhappy with the public school systems in the town. Two of her close friends also decided that home-schooling was the best option for their children. Soon several families had started to home-school and agreed to start a group. They named the group Excel as a reminder of their goals for their children: to excel in school, and in the knowledge of God. Excel met weekly for group activities and frequent field trips. The rest of the week my brothers and I would eagerly get up at dawn with the aim of finishing our school work early.
History and literature were normally the first classes of the day. A Child’s History of the World told us who Zeus was, how pyramids were made, where Columbus landed, and why the North and South raged against one another in the Civil War. My mother strived to make events of the past interesting to us by incorporating skits, art projects, and anything else that would help us learn. Henry, my middle brother, and I ate pomegranate as we played kings and queens of long ago empires. A time line stretched across the kitchen counter where I was able to display my artistic talents by adding pictures to note historic events. I can remember drawing the pyramids of Egypt and Moses as he parted the Red Sea. My brothers and I also built miniature teepees while learning about the Native Americans. We often spun the globe and where it stopped was the next country to visit. Home-schooling allowed my brothers and I to learn through interaction instead of merely sitting in a class room and listening to a teacher drone on about history. I had an appreciation of the world and all its many wonders which stimulated my yearning to travel, and to taste the foods in their countries of origin.
Soon the aroma of foreign foods was a distant memory and I had to learn mathematics. My mother tried her best to make the subject interesting but my art-oriented brain rebelled. Flash cards and videos were only a part of my mother’s effort. It seemed we owned every “learn math in no time” book, game, or pamphlet. I have numerous memories of sitting at the “little table,” a miniature table that still holds its place of prominence in our kitchen, and trying to memorize eight times seven. My mother taught me all the tricks, such as using your fingers to multiply by nine and many other ploys. Eventually multiplication tables engraved themselves on my brain and long-hand division started to come naturally. Before long “Nock-out,” a math game, did not seem such a daunting task and became enjoyable. Math still is not a subject I enjoy but thanks to my mom’s persistence I can now add and subtract without too much trouble.
I preferred science to math because my father came home everyday at lunch to teach me the unexplained mysteries of the universe. Roy G Biv was the anachronism my father taught me for the colors of the rainbow. Sitting around our table Dad taught me how I was made up of little tiny things called atoms that worked together to form my fingers and toes. He showed me how I and all things were unique and had our own special traits. Learning the difference between vertebrates and invertebrates always seemed a struggle but my father frequently reminded me that it would take diligence and hard work to progress. On sunny days cumulus and sires clouds were prevalent as my father explained precipitation and condensation. Mount Saint Helen was recreated in the backyard as chemicals flowed out of our paper Mache volcano. My father was a hard teacher and expected much from me but he also loved science and his teaching glowed with his enthusiasm. He believed that God’s handiwork displayed itself throughout the wonders of science, and showed how His fingertips touch all of creation. A butterfly was the artistic expression of God.
God seemed to be prevalent in science but He was no where to be seen when it came to my ability to read. English was difficult because, try as I might, I could not learn to read. My mother was my source of encouragement because she believed that children learned at their own time, and she had no doubt that I would accomplish the task. Poster saying “Never Give Up!” and “Every Expert was Once a Beginner” littered our walls in my mother’s hope to encourage me. However, I thought I was truly stupid and could never learn. In a public school my ideas about myself would have been reinforce because they would have held me back or put me in special classes. But I was doing well in all my other courses and my mother knew that I would catch on. I learned through Phonics like many children; it merely took me longer to catch on. Finally, with time and much practice, my reading improved. Because of my mothers faith in me I was able to learn to read and enjoy it as well. I was captivated as a new world of adventure opened to me. Books now became an escape in which I could lose myself; traveling to distant lands, meeting Kings and Queens. I sat at the Round Table with Arthur’s men and heard tales of Arabia through my journey in books.
Our course material was made by Calvert, a school in Baltimore, Maryland. They had set reading assignments everyday, but I always read ahead and finished books early. Writing was never as much fun as reading but it was a large requirement in Calvert. I had a journal that I kept daily, which still makes me laugh when I read the entries. Short papers were also required, along with special outlines. Calvert had one outline that was called the spider because there was a bubble for the main idea and then multiple circles branching off. I learn to brain storm and write in a somewhat orderly fashion, but to my mother’s dismay I never liked outlines. I prefer to write as things came to me and hope the words were had some semblance of coherency.
I visited many places through books, but I was also able to go on trips with Excel. Soda sprayed out of the ceiling as our home-school group tasted all the different flavored soft drinks at the World of Coke. I discovered Norman Rockwell was my favorite painter at a trip to the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. Panda bears from Japan and a prowling tiger were just a few of the animals I was able to see on frequent trips to the zoo. While Native American mounds were intriguing at the Indian reservation; Six Flags was even more exciting and a group favorite because the lines were so short on home-school days. We tasted delicious cookie dough as batter swirled in industrial size mixtures on a Jacquelyn’s bakery outing. Although we did not go to Gettysburg, we watched as soldiers shot cannons and brothers fought each other in battle reenactments. Field trips with Excel are some of the best memories I have of home-schooling. The trips open a whole new world to me and exposed me to things and ideas that I probably would not have experienced had I been at a public school.
Leisure time was spent painting flowers in Ms. V’s art class or tumbling in gymnastics. My brothers and I also enjoyed going to the library as often as possible to hear story book readers or watch Curious George on an old slide projector. The Library was three stories with the bottom as the children’s area. The stairway down was painted with scenes from different children’s stories. Wilber, Corduroy, and Winnie the Pooh greeted us as we rushed down the steps to find our choice of ten books; a rule which my mom imposed to keep us from trying to carry forty books back to the house. My mother often took away our television when she thought we were watching it too much; hence, being a coach potato was never part of my day. Many Saturday mornings were spent in the back yard jumping into piles of leafs we had just racked, while our friends watched Saturday morning cartoons. We just recently acquired a satellite because my parents hold to the idea that television only hinders the imagination. When I got a little older our church started a girls group that met on Wednesday nights to try our hand at quilting. It seemed to take a life time to finish my log cabin quilt but I also had a wonderful time talking and laughing with friends as we poked ourselves with needles.
I have never regretted my years spent learning with my brother’s about arithmetic and writing. My mother exemplified everything a teacher should: she believed in hard work, strong discipline, and also the idea that learning could be fun. But most of all, she loved us and always had our welfare at heart. Home-schooling gave me the opportunity to be educated in an environment which allowed me to learn at my own pace and encouraged me to use my imagination. I also was able to develop a close relationship with my parents since they were such an integral part of my learning. But most importantly, it grounded me in my faith in Christ. Everyday the importance of Christ was reaffirmed and absolute truth was taught. I sometimes wonder at the person I would be had my younger, most impressionable years not been spent in the care of a mother, whose chief purpose was to raise children who loved the lord.
While home-schooling was a wonderful time in my life, I would soon decide to go off to school because I wanted to be in a class with children my own age. I would start a Piedmont academy my seventh grade year, which was very difficult for me but soon turned into a great experience. Yet, home-schooling would always be my fondest memories: my brother’s, my mother, and I all together learning about the world and all that God had endowed it with.
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."
Lately I have been absorbed in post about “mommy-hood” and the tasks of staying at home. I will soon be quitting work (yippee) to pursue this role. Though I am not a mother yet, I hope to be one in the not too distant future. And lately my mind has been on Homeschooling; if, when the time comes, I should pursue this option with my children. My heart says yes, “it would be wonderful”; but my mind says: “what are you thinking?!…are you nuts!!! You don’t have the abilities needed for that…things like patience and intelligence…you really shouldn’t.” Alas, I am hoping that when the time comes my heart and mind will be on the same page.
I wrote on my homeschooling experience a little while back and decided to post my views. Hopefully, the words will encourage those who choose to teach at home; and give insight to those who don’t. I know it is a huge decision and I want people to understand why I might choose this route some day. God give me the grace when the time is needed to choose the option that will produce children whose sole purpose is to glorify You!
Southern Bell
Dixie land, the Bible belt, this is where I grew up. My home town of Covington lies forty-five minutes south east of Atlanta, which gives some people the idea that I am from a the big city; however, this is far from the truth. The little square in Covington which contains Claudia’s Flowers, Ace Hardware, and the Court House, is the heart of the town. We do have a Kroger’s and a Wal-Mart, but there are not any malls or fancy restaurants. The town is growing fast because of its close proximity to Atlanta and I suppose one day it will just be part of the urban sprawl, but I will always remember it as the “one horse town” in which I spent my childhood. Nevertheless, my childhood was slightly different than some of my friends. Like many southern children I grew up playing in red Georgia clay and going to visit our grazing cows on sunny afternoons. However, my education did not start in a preschool with ten other children.
My Mother is from Alabama and my Father is from Dalton, Georgia. They met at school in Vanderbilt and eventually moved to Covington where my father started his medical practice. Going against the tide, my mother decided to home-school my two older brothers and I because she was unhappy with the public school systems in the town. Two of her close friends also decided that home-schooling was the best option for their children. Soon several families had started to home-school and agreed to start a group. They named the group Excel as a reminder of their goals for their children: to excel in school, and in the knowledge of God. Excel met weekly for group activities and frequent field trips. The rest of the week my brothers and I would eagerly get up at dawn with the aim of finishing our school work early.
History and literature were normally the first classes of the day. A Child’s History of the World told us who Zeus was, how pyramids were made, where Columbus landed, and why the North and South raged against one another in the Civil War. My mother strived to make events of the past interesting to us by incorporating skits, art projects, and anything else that would help us learn. Henry, my middle brother, and I ate pomegranate as we played kings and queens of long ago empires. A time line stretched across the kitchen counter where I was able to display my artistic talents by adding pictures to note historic events. I can remember drawing the pyramids of Egypt and Moses as he parted the Red Sea. My brothers and I also built miniature teepees while learning about the Native Americans. We often spun the globe and where it stopped was the next country to visit. Home-schooling allowed my brothers and I to learn through interaction instead of merely sitting in a class room and listening to a teacher drone on about history. I had an appreciation of the world and all its many wonders which stimulated my yearning to travel, and to taste the foods in their countries of origin.
Soon the aroma of foreign foods was a distant memory and I had to learn mathematics. My mother tried her best to make the subject interesting but my art-oriented brain rebelled. Flash cards and videos were only a part of my mother’s effort. It seemed we owned every “learn math in no time” book, game, or pamphlet. I have numerous memories of sitting at the “little table,” a miniature table that still holds its place of prominence in our kitchen, and trying to memorize eight times seven. My mother taught me all the tricks, such as using your fingers to multiply by nine and many other ploys. Eventually multiplication tables engraved themselves on my brain and long-hand division started to come naturally. Before long “Nock-out,” a math game, did not seem such a daunting task and became enjoyable. Math still is not a subject I enjoy but thanks to my mom’s persistence I can now add and subtract without too much trouble.
I preferred science to math because my father came home everyday at lunch to teach me the unexplained mysteries of the universe. Roy G Biv was the anachronism my father taught me for the colors of the rainbow. Sitting around our table Dad taught me how I was made up of little tiny things called atoms that worked together to form my fingers and toes. He showed me how I and all things were unique and had our own special traits. Learning the difference between vertebrates and invertebrates always seemed a struggle but my father frequently reminded me that it would take diligence and hard work to progress. On sunny days cumulus and sires clouds were prevalent as my father explained precipitation and condensation. Mount Saint Helen was recreated in the backyard as chemicals flowed out of our paper Mache volcano. My father was a hard teacher and expected much from me but he also loved science and his teaching glowed with his enthusiasm. He believed that God’s handiwork displayed itself throughout the wonders of science, and showed how His fingertips touch all of creation. A butterfly was the artistic expression of God.
God seemed to be prevalent in science but He was no where to be seen when it came to my ability to read. English was difficult because, try as I might, I could not learn to read. My mother was my source of encouragement because she believed that children learned at their own time, and she had no doubt that I would accomplish the task. Poster saying “Never Give Up!” and “Every Expert was Once a Beginner” littered our walls in my mother’s hope to encourage me. However, I thought I was truly stupid and could never learn. In a public school my ideas about myself would have been reinforce because they would have held me back or put me in special classes. But I was doing well in all my other courses and my mother knew that I would catch on. I learned through Phonics like many children; it merely took me longer to catch on. Finally, with time and much practice, my reading improved. Because of my mothers faith in me I was able to learn to read and enjoy it as well. I was captivated as a new world of adventure opened to me. Books now became an escape in which I could lose myself; traveling to distant lands, meeting Kings and Queens. I sat at the Round Table with Arthur’s men and heard tales of Arabia through my journey in books.
Our course material was made by Calvert, a school in Baltimore, Maryland. They had set reading assignments everyday, but I always read ahead and finished books early. Writing was never as much fun as reading but it was a large requirement in Calvert. I had a journal that I kept daily, which still makes me laugh when I read the entries. Short papers were also required, along with special outlines. Calvert had one outline that was called the spider because there was a bubble for the main idea and then multiple circles branching off. I learn to brain storm and write in a somewhat orderly fashion, but to my mother’s dismay I never liked outlines. I prefer to write as things came to me and hope the words were had some semblance of coherency.
I visited many places through books, but I was also able to go on trips with Excel. Soda sprayed out of the ceiling as our home-school group tasted all the different flavored soft drinks at the World of Coke. I discovered Norman Rockwell was my favorite painter at a trip to the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. Panda bears from Japan and a prowling tiger were just a few of the animals I was able to see on frequent trips to the zoo. While Native American mounds were intriguing at the Indian reservation; Six Flags was even more exciting and a group favorite because the lines were so short on home-school days. We tasted delicious cookie dough as batter swirled in industrial size mixtures on a Jacquelyn’s bakery outing. Although we did not go to Gettysburg, we watched as soldiers shot cannons and brothers fought each other in battle reenactments. Field trips with Excel are some of the best memories I have of home-schooling. The trips open a whole new world to me and exposed me to things and ideas that I probably would not have experienced had I been at a public school.
Leisure time was spent painting flowers in Ms. V’s art class or tumbling in gymnastics. My brothers and I also enjoyed going to the library as often as possible to hear story book readers or watch Curious George on an old slide projector. The Library was three stories with the bottom as the children’s area. The stairway down was painted with scenes from different children’s stories. Wilber, Corduroy, and Winnie the Pooh greeted us as we rushed down the steps to find our choice of ten books; a rule which my mom imposed to keep us from trying to carry forty books back to the house. My mother often took away our television when she thought we were watching it too much; hence, being a coach potato was never part of my day. Many Saturday mornings were spent in the back yard jumping into piles of leafs we had just racked, while our friends watched Saturday morning cartoons. We just recently acquired a satellite because my parents hold to the idea that television only hinders the imagination. When I got a little older our church started a girls group that met on Wednesday nights to try our hand at quilting. It seemed to take a life time to finish my log cabin quilt but I also had a wonderful time talking and laughing with friends as we poked ourselves with needles.
I have never regretted my years spent learning with my brother’s about arithmetic and writing. My mother exemplified everything a teacher should: she believed in hard work, strong discipline, and also the idea that learning could be fun. But most of all, she loved us and always had our welfare at heart. Home-schooling gave me the opportunity to be educated in an environment which allowed me to learn at my own pace and encouraged me to use my imagination. I also was able to develop a close relationship with my parents since they were such an integral part of my learning. But most importantly, it grounded me in my faith in Christ. Everyday the importance of Christ was reaffirmed and absolute truth was taught. I sometimes wonder at the person I would be had my younger, most impressionable years not been spent in the care of a mother, whose chief purpose was to raise children who loved the lord.
While home-schooling was a wonderful time in my life, I would soon decide to go off to school because I wanted to be in a class with children my own age. I would start a Piedmont academy my seventh grade year, which was very difficult for me but soon turned into a great experience. Yet, home-schooling would always be my fondest memories: my brother’s, my mother, and I all together learning about the world and all that God had endowed it with.
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