"Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth/ Would care to know my name/ Would care to feel my hurt"

I wanted to quickly post pictures from Easter before we head to Birmingham for Charlotte's surgery.

We decided to celebrate the silly side of Easter (bunnies, egg hunts, etc.) on Saturday and leave Sunday as the day to celebrate the RISEN KING. I think we will stick to this way of doing things. Charlotte's basket was duck themed this year. I had a blast filling it from the dollar section at Target!



a little sleepy



The girls had a blast looking through their loot together.





And what is Easter without a bunny ear headband!


Sorry Dad but I'm going to have to say Lia wore it best :)


Now for the Hunt!





Charlotte wasn't a fan of the bunny ears.



The girls did great together and by the end had combined all their eggs.



We actually managed to get a family photo on Easter which are few and far between these days.



One of my favorite parts of the week was blowing bubbles with Lia. She LOVED them.



I love how children remind us of the joy of simple things.



And her enthusiasm reminds me so much of Henry.



It was a wonderful week and hard to see it end, especially knowing what lay ahead. Sunday, as I drove back from a wedding in Auburn to pick up Charlotte in Covington, the weight of the week hit me. This surgery is not so sudden or frightening as shunt surgery. Yet, I realized as I drove that once again I will have to leave her to a nurse she doesn't know in a place she doesn't like. I cried most of the way home and prayed for strength. It made me think of Eve and the curse that is inflicted on all mothers. Yes, birth itself is a painful process but I think our consequence is more than the pain of labor. It is the continuous pain of loving a human being so much. It seems that this is our course as mothers: the great joy mixed with the great sorrow of having our hearts roaming outside our body.

My heart breaks as I think of what lays ahead this Wednesday. Yet, God has been continuously faithful to our family. I am so grateful for how well Charlotte has done. He has blessed me beyond measure by bringing Ben and I together, giving us Charlotte, and now Margaret. He places trials in all our lives and I know they are small compared to the burden of what we deserve. I'm asking that He once again protect my daughter, give me strength and courage as her mother, and even when it seems against the grain: "to count it all joy".

"To every thing: Turn, Turn Turn. There is a season: Turn, Turn, Turn. And a time for every purpose, under Heaven."

I hope everyone has had a joy filled Easter. We headed down to celebrate the Holiday in Covington. Charlotte and I are still here. Ben kindly agreed to let us stay for the week so we could have some much needed family time. She is napping right now so I thought I’d take the time to catch up.

We have had a wonderful visit with my family. Saturday, was a full day with an Easter egg hunt for the girls, a birthday party at lunch for Dana, my mom, and myself, and a Passover supper that evening. The Easter Hunt was tons of fun. We put Charlotte in her braces so she could practice walking to find the eggs. Both girls seemed to have a grand time and were quite content with 3 or 4 eggs. Lunch was delicious and like all meals at my parents, I ate till I was ill. I’m not sure when my parents started the tradition of celebrating Passover but we have done it since I was little. This year the girls babbled and watched curiously as we recited the traditional sayings. I am sure in a few years they will be participating in the festivities.

Sunday we celebrated the joy of Easter with a wonderful service at the church I grew up in. I always love coming back and visiting with the many friends who have prayed for me since I was a child and who now pray for my daughter. The body of Christ is an amazing blessing in my life. A very special treat was getting to see my lifelong friend Meghan and her sweet baby Josey. Holding Josey made me so excited for the arrival of Margaret. After visiting with friends we headed back to my parents and stuffed ourselves with way too much food. In fact, that is what I have done this whole week! I’m afraid my OB is going to give me a weight warning at the next visit.

I took many pictures of all the festivities but will have to wait to post them till I’m back home. And it will most likely take me awhile because next week is CRAZY. Saturday, I have a wedding outside of Auburn and then Sunday I’ll head back to Covington to pick up Charlotte and drive home to Scottsboro. Monday, she has a pediatrician appointment for a physical in preparation for her eye surgery. Tuesday morning we have an official closing on our new home and that afternoon we head to Birmingham. Wednesday is Charlotte’s actual surgery but we still do not know times yet. We are praying it will be in the morning because she is not allowed to eat or drink after midnight. We are also hoping to head back home that same day so that she can recover in familiar territory.

These busy weeks are making time fly by! I can’t believe I’m only 7 ½ weeks from my due date!! And I have belly pictures.

These are at 30 weeks:




And I snapped these today (almost 33 weeks) for a more up to date look.





As you can see, my belly is expanding at rapid rates. I am already bigger than when I delivered Charlotte. I suppose that is from the fact that this is my second pregnancy and the muscles in my stomach aren’t what they use to be. Not that I’ve ever had much in the way of ab muscles though!

My mom and I were thinking that Margaret might be a bigger baby since I’m getting bigger this time around. However, I had an OB apt last Thursday and was measuring a bit small. They sent me in for an ultra sound to make sure Margaret did not have any growth retardation. She measured at 30 weeks and I was at 32, but they said everything look good which was a huge relief. She was also breech during the ultrasound and I am greatly hoping that she does not get comfortable in this position.

Other than being on a See food diet (I see it, I eat it), leg cramps, and some very bad back pain (mostly due to therapy with Charlotte) this pregnancy seems to be going smoothly. The 3rd trimester is always long and I am so ready to be out of maternity clothes; especially as the weather heats up. But I also feel the anxiety of all that I have left to do before Margaret’s arrival. May doesn’t seem quite as crazy as this month. Yet, we do have 2 clinics for Charlotte which can be fairly draining.

I was lamenting to my mom that I keep making daily to do lists and then I never can accomplish all that is on them! I know, and here I am vacationing at my parents :) I have gotten a few things accomplished while I’ve been here. But I came because I felt the need for a break and perspective. The world continues to revolve even though I haven’t sewn pillows for Charlotte’s bed or organized Margaret’s closet. I feel like I’ve spent much more quality time with Charlotte since I have been home, because I haven’t been running around trying to get all the to-do’s done. And I know I need to savor this one on one time with her. Things will soon be different and my time will be split between two girls. I don’t consider this a bad thing but it makes me know I need to cherish these moments.

And speaking of cherishing moments….Ben and I recently took Charlotte for her first boat ride since last summer. She was not a fan of the wind, but once we got to the point of merely trolling she had a wonderful time.




She kept wanting to reach out and touch the water. Had I not been securely holding her, she would have climbed head first into the lake. Charlotte also touched her first fish that her daddy caught for her. I see a pink fishing pole in her future!

"You've got, the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen. You've got, me almost melt away."

Has it really been a month since my last blog?! Let’s just say I get a bit stressed and overwhelmed when it comes to moving. But moved we are!!! Thanks to the help of in laws and parents we are pretty well settled. My mom came down and took care of Charlotte so I could actually unpack. It was A TON of work but I am thrilled to be (mostly) out of boxes! My dad even came and helped Ben hang most of our curtains and pictures.

Enjoying our new home:


My favorite decorations, books and pictures:



Even Lilly has a special place:


Charlotte had adapted well to her new home and has even learned to sleep very well in her big girl bed. I know I promised pictures of her bed but it is still a work in progress. Ben is working on a head and footboard, and I still need to paint and sew a few things. Maybe we will have it finished before Margaret’s arrival.

I haven’t managed to take any more belly pics but plan get Ben to snap a photo this weekend. I’m feeling HUGE and I still have 10 weeks to go. That seems like a lot more time for my belly to get even bigger but such a short time to prepare. The pregnancy is going well. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had any bouts of nausea. Now I’m dealing with the typical prego issues like leg cramps, kicks that jab, hot flashes at night, and a zillion trips to the bathroom because this little girl is resting comfortably on my bladder. I am not one of those women who adores pregnancy. I like the end result. And though I don’t feel prepared I will be VERY ready not to be pregnant any more.

Ben and I were sitting on the back porch going: “I can’t believe in two months we’ll have two kids!!” And it’s funny because we both feel new to it all. It seems completely different from Charlotte’s arrival. In many ways I feel like I’m doing this for the first time. I meant to ask my OB if I needed to register with the hospital. Ben and I are both a bit overwhelmed that we will be taking home a newborn. Charlotte was in the NICU for almost two weeks and we had so much preparation from the doctors and nurses on her care. Margaret, Lord willing, will only be a few days old when she becomes our soul responsibility. I know it sounds odd but even though I have a child I sometimes feel like a new mom.

Speaking of my first born: we headed to her Ophthalmologist in Birmingham this past Tuesday. I had been fairly sure he would say that surgery was needed so it did not come as a shock when he did indeed say surgery was the next step. It does not seem nearly as frightening as a shunt revision though I can’t say I’m excited. The surgery will be done at Children’s and typically lasts about 45 minutes. They will correct both eyes at one time, and she will most likely be able to go home that same day. In 25% of cases there is an over correction of the crossing which calls for another surgery. The surgeon also informed us that 25% of children will need this surgery repeated at any given time. Right now I’m praying that Charlotte will be in the 75%. If you are curious why she needs this surgery, the below photo shows how her eyes are crossing.


Actually, in this picture the crossing is not as strong as it can be.

The doctor’s office is going to call with dates in April for the surgery. I would be so grateful if you all once again prayed for Charlotte as she undergoes her fourth surgery. She is a trooper and the surgeon assured us that children this young tend to recover very quickly.

I just flipped through my calendar and my heart started being rapidly. We have a busy spring before Margaret arrives. I am praying that God gives me a joyful heart as things get crazy and peace in all circumstances. Our church recently started a women’s bible study which has been such a treasure to me. A quote from last night’s meeting is still ringing in my heart. “Those that embrace the gospel are able to make sense of their reality.” I am praying that God helps me delve into His word so that even the trying times in my life will make sense in light of His truth.

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying this summery spring. I’ll leave you with a few pictures of a girl who carries my heart around.







I LOVE THIS GIRL!

"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye."

If you are wondering why my blog has been my last priority these days…

Exhibit A




Yep, this little girl keeps me on my toes. We continue to do therapy every morning though it’s getting harder on my back as my belly pushes forward. I’m also greatly missing my waist! Unlike most toddlers, Charlotte cannot grip with her legs when you hold her. I use to be able to prop her on my hips which was very useful, but now they are disappearing as Margaret grows. At least I hope it’s from Margaret's growth and not from my insatiable sweet tooth.

The other task consuming all my spare moments:



Packing! Our house is scarily resembling an episode of Hoarders! I won’t lie, I hate moving. I thought it was tough before with no children but with a girl who wants to be in my arms much of the day and a pregnant body, it’s downright crazy.



I also had no clue how much stuff we had till I started packing it all. I swear I’m no pack rat but wow does it take a lot of boxes. It also does not help that my mother passed down her obsession with china to me. You would not believe all the bubble wrap we have gone through.



At least the boxes provide some entertainment for Charlotte.



Currently, our new home is being painted while we finish packing here. Hopefully, we’ll be moving in in the next couple of weeks. I am very ready to be out of the obstacle course of boxes that our home currently is. Yet, I’m curious what Charlotte will think of our new abode and all the changes that come with it. I’m hoping it will not affect her sleep too much.

We are changing her room in an effort to ready for Margret’s arrival. I thought I would do two nurseries but have changed my mind. Instead, we are going to give Charlotte a “real” bed but place it on the floor. My mom had mentioned the idea a while back, and I decided it would be best considering we don’t know when Charlotte will be capable or confident enough to maneuver out of something higher. This way she gains some independence earlier on.

I was relived that I didn’t have to decorate a whole knew nursery but quickly realized Charlotte’s new room would need my work. I have a vision for her floor bed. I want it to look intentional and seem like any little girl’s room. So many things have to be different for her. I want her room to seem “normal.” Ben and my mom are helping turn my imaginings into fruition and I’ll try to post pictures of the progress.
As far as the pregnancy, things seem to be progressing very well. Though I’m huge! Charlotte was little and it was my first pregnancy so I didn’t get all that big even though I felt like I was. I think I’m about the size I was when I gave birth to her and I still have many weeks to go!!! I meant to get Ben to take a picture but forgot so I’ll try to post one as I enter my 3rd trimester. It’s crazy to think it is only moments away.

Though days are spent packing I take Charlotte outside anytime it’s nice.



She loves it and so do I. If you can’t tell yesterday was a bit windy!





Charlotte loves playing in the pea gravel. I think it’s about as great a toy as sand and might have to drag some to the new house.




We’ve had a respite from doctor’s appointments but that will soon change. As I enter my 3rd trimester my check ups will be more often. Charlotte soon has her 18month appointment and I am hoping my tiny baby has finally reach 20lbs. She also has an eye appointment in March where her surgery will be scheduled. SB clinics are not till May but I am thinking of bumping one up in case labor comes a bit earlier than expected.

When I look at a calendar my mind reels a bit with the knowledge that a 2nd child is soon approaching. I’m pretty nervous. I know people have kids close together but Charlotte is still not walking. I often wonder how I’m going to cart two babies around and keep up with Charlotte’s therapy. I love Margret and know it will abound exponentially when she arrives. Yet, once again those fears and desires of wanting to be everything for my children have me in a bit of a panic at times. I also worry about Charlotte being displaced. Then I reminded my self that it is never a good thing to think you are the center of the universe, and the sooner Charlotte learns it the better. And I love having brothers. They are two of the four most important men in my life. I hope Charlotte and Margret are best friends as well.

Who knows when I’ll manage to blog again but I’m guessing it will be after our move. I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the warm bouts of weather when they come. And AS ALWAYS thank you for your prayers and support as our family grows and changes.

"There's only grace, There's only love, There's only mercy and believe it's enough"

Thanks to all of you who prayed and encouraged me before my UAB ultrasound. It is always wonderful to feel the love and support of the Body of Christ.

We headed for a 20 week diagnostic ultrasound at UAB to specifically check on this new little girl and see if there were any signs of SB. Oh, and I made Ben take a 20 week picture:



I wish I’d made him take one last night because even though I am only 2 weeks further along my belly has definitely popped out. I’m hoping it’s from the growth of our sweet girl and not just all the ice cream I’ve been eating lately 

We headed to the doctor last Thursday. Ben, my mom, and Charlotte were all there with me. I was pretty worn from anxiety and having gotten very little sleep the night before. I had been encouraged by how much kicking I had been feeling early on; but worries still plagued me. First, they had us watch a video on diagnostic testing and amniocenteses. There was another girl in the room with us who had had abnormal blood work. It was thinking about her situation that began to calm my nerves.

I don’t know her situation except that she had a 7 year old daughter and she seemed very young. I began to think about how hard it must be for her, how scary. I remembered my own fear coming in for testing with Charlotte. I was worried this time but it was different because I had survived it. God had proven trust worthy during some of the hardest times of my life. He had not given me more than I could bear. There was so much comfort in those thoughts; that even if this child had issues I knew that the Great Physician would provide in my hour of need.

I wondered about the girl and her situation; if she had a supportive husband and family. I began to get a small glimmer into the grace that God has had in my life since Charlotte’s diagnosis. Sometimes I think all we get is a glimmer into His grace, because it is so boundless and unfathomable. He placed me with a spouse who loves and encourages me. I have a father who keeps up with new findings in Spina Bifida and has always been the one I call for questions. I have a mother who comes to every doctor’s visit and makes sure she knows the proper ways to care for Charlotte. I have siblings who have prayed for my daughter and loved her like she was their own. I have in-laws who lavished Charlotte with love and always looked at her like she is perfect (which she is, in our eyes). I have a church both here and where I grew up that have been prayer warriors on behalf of my daughter. I have friends who have cried with me and rejoiced with me. And Charlotte has done exceedingly well. God has bestowed BOUNDLESS grace in my life.



I sat in the doctor’s office as the Ultra sound tech took pictures, and though my heart fluttered with nerves I thought of all this grace. It has been grace given to the least deserving. My mind went to the girl, hoping she would have a good report and if not, that she too would look back and see God’s grace. This little babe would be well taken care of not matter the outcome. God’s sovereignty and goodness has been at work even in my womb.

The Tech informed us that we were having another GIRL: YAY! And the doctor informed us that everything looked great. They can never tell you for sure you are having a healthy child but from the ultrasound all was going well. More and more grace. I will never deserve it nor be able to repay it.

I am thrilled to be having another little girl. We have decided to name her: Mary Margret Bratton and call her Margret. It is a named derived from family we love dearly. I never had a sister and though I can’t imagine life without my brothers I am elated for Charlotte to experience it.

I pray that they will be close. I know that they will fight, because that is what siblings do. Yet, I hope that Margret will bring lightheartedness into Charlotte’s life, and that Charlotte’s sweet nature would be a balm to Margret. I can’t wait to see what she is like. It’s strange to think that this little girl could and will probably be completely different from the one I know. But I love her already and I know that my God does too.

Charlotte and the move are keeping me fairly busy but I will try to keep everyone posted on how this pregnancy is progressing. And a few more pictures before I go:

"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the Future"

Ok, so I’m racking my brain trying to remember everything that has passed since my last post…a lot. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We certainly did. We spent this year is Scottsboro and hosted Ben’s family. I have a new appreciation for the many years my mom has slaved away to give us a special Christmas dinner. We decided to do a Christmas lunch so I cooked as much as possible before hand. I could not have accomplished the monumental task without Ben taking over turkey cooking and the numerous calls to my mother as I tried to get the dressing just right!





Christmas morning everyone came over and watched as Charlotte was dazzled by an array of gifts. She is still too young to really get into toys and she came down with a cold that morning; yet, Charlotte seemed to have a good time eyeing all her loot.




The car was a fabulous gift from her Aunt Beth and Uncle Graham. She loves me pushing her around. I was doing laundry the other day and we “picked up” the sheets in her car and then drove them over to the bedroom. My back is still recovering!



Charlotte has been more and more enamored with stuffed animals so I decided it was time for a doll as did her grandparents. Now she has two babies that she loves to hug. I think she is going to be a wonderful big sister.



Our biggest Christmas surprise came in the form of getting a new home!! That’s right, we are moving. I am sad to leave all the memories we have made in this home and all the work I have put into this yard. However, I couldn’t be more thrilled to familiarize myself with a new kitchen and make even more wonderful memories. The other plus is this new house is less than a mile away from our current location; hopefully, making moving a little less burdensome. I do get a bit overwhelmed thinking about packing everything with a little girl who demands my full attention and a belly that is getting more swollen by the minute! Ben and I hope that this will be our last move 

The week after Christmas went by rather slowly as Charlotte’s cold made her more and more fussy. It was her first time having a cold (huge blessing) and it made me realize what work it is to care for a sick child.

We went to my family for a long New Year’s weekend which was a welcome break. While in Covington, Ben and I attend a concert in Atlanta for a band we greatly enjoy, Futurebirds. It was a late night for this pregnant woman (1am-ish) but definitely worth it. Sunday, Ben headed back to Scottsboro while I stayed on with my parents. Charlotte was acting very sick and started to get a low grade fever. We were all worried about the possibility of a UTI but knew it could also be from a virus. We decided to wait it out. Monday, Charlotte’s temperature was hardly elevated but by the evening it was running very high. We ended up taking her to the ER were she was diagnosed with a UTI. I am happy to report that she has greatly improved since then, with hardly a cold left and done with her antibiotics.

Sunday, Charlotte and I headed to Birmingham for yet another appointment. I get pretty tired of traveling the road so much but I’m very lucky to have wonderful family in Birmingham. It is always a treat to see them. Monday, we headed to her Ophthalmologist appointment. I thought that maybe her eyes had improved a bit. However, Dr. Metz did not see much improvement. She will need eye surgery, but Dr. Metz wants to wait a few months in the hopes that her right eye might improve and only one would need correction. I am praying towards this.

Tuesday, we headed to an OB appointment were Charlotte and I were able to hear the whooshing of Peanuts heart as it pumped away. All seems to be progressing well. My nausea is much better though I still sometimes reach for Zofran to make it through the day. And my belly is all of the sudden growing at a rapid pace. I didn’t get all that huge with Charlotte but I can tell I’m going to be much bigger with this one.

Next Thursday, we head to UAB for the diagnostic ultra sound. I’m still anxious and praying for God’s peace. I have felt tons of movement which has been an encouragement. I would ask that you all continue to pray.

And finally, for those who are interested, I took picture of Charlotte’s braces. We practice standing for at least an hour a day. She has done well though sickness slowed her down for a few days.




Ben picked out the shoes for Charlotte while we were out shopping. Yep, she already has Toms and they work great with her braces.



New Christmas toys also help keep Charlotte entertained though she often gets tired and fussy at the end of a work out.



I hope you all our enjoying the New Year. I can’t believe it is already 2012 and I’m half way done with this pregnancy. I am looking forward to an eventful year and praying for God’s wisdom as we navigate the often tumultuous waters of parenthood.